I’m a biter. This is pertinent to this post for two reasons. 1) I bite my popsicles. Ain’t no licking up in hurr. And 2) I bite my nails. See that nail polish I’m wearing? I put it on purely for photographic purposes and yes it is only on one finger. Manicures just aren’t worth it because I end up biting it off within a day. Judge all you want.
In addition to my terrible biting habits, I am also a picker. I pick at foods to scoop out the best parts i.e. cookie dough in cookie dough ice cream and even worse I pick off my friend’s and family’s plates while they’re still eating. Don’t you dare try to pick at my plate though. It’s out of bounds until I declare I am done, at which point it becomes free-game.
While we’re on the topic of my flaws, we may as well discuss my hands. I wouldn’t say they’re keeping me up at night, but whenever I do a photoshoot in which my hands play a prominent role (clearly this doesn’t happen often) I am always embarrassed by how they look. My hands are actually miniature. Which makes no sense considering I am 5’7 and both of my parents have nice, big hands. I think I’m adopted…Kidding! If you’ve seen that afro I inherited from my father you would know I am definitely his spawn.
Now that I’ve already shared 3 of my flaws, I may as well give you the whole shebang. A big one is that I cannot drive. Technically I have a license to drive a car but it was obtained in a very sneaky-borderline-illegal way. I cannot park a car or drive on the highway and have a mini panic attack at every left turn. I also have a bit of a potty mouth, have a weakness for horrible reality TV shows (specifically those of the MTV variety), oh and I shed (please refer to the above point regarding my afro for explanation).
So let’s recap, I bite my nails and my popsicles, I pick food straight off your plate, I have freakish hands, I cannot drive, I swear, I loooove Teen Mom and I shed more than a golden retriever. On the bright side, I make a mean Blueberry Salted Caramel Popsicle!
P.S. They’re gluten-free, vegan, paleo and sugar-free but taste AWESOME. Make them…seriously.