HLB=Healthy Living Blogger.
I’ve been composing this list for about 6 months now. I’ve noticed trends in the HLB world that I seem to have missed the boat on. While there are some things I could be the HLB poster girl for ahem oatmeal consumption, selfies, my inappropriate relationship with green vegetables…I seem to have also failed this community in at least 10 ways. Let’s begin:
1. While my sleeping patterns are not to be admired, I am certainly not up at 5:00AM working out. I prefer my evening workouts.
2. I do not like Harry Potter. What is it with foodies and workout junkies liking wizards? I’m so confused.
3. I hate Gwyneth Paltrow and nothing makes me cringe more than GOOP. Also I think I lose brain cells when I hear her speak. And no, Rosemary Infused Olive Oil from the South of France is not a kitchen necessity (though I did make some with my Mom and that stuff is BOMB).
4. I have absolutely no desire to try out Whole30 or any form of the Paleo diet. I would rather watch Harry Potter than eat grass-fed/organic/locally butchered/slathered in coconut oil/Balanced Bites Podcast approved wild boar for breakfast.
6. I don’t meal prep. Well, I DID meal prep but then I realized I wasn’t more or less likely to eat my brussels sprouts if I had pre-chopped them on Sunday. I like brussels sprouts and I also like cooking but I’m not about to torture myself for 6 hours meal-prepping on Sundays.
7. I don’t have any allergies. While I don’t intend to let you in on the deets of my post-gluten consumption (and too much dairy for that matter), I won’t die if I eat it. I am VERY grateful for this.
8. I am not even remotely organized. Why is every HLB so on top of things? If you know me, you know that my brain is scattered and I am all over the place. While I do have my perfectionist tendencies, list-making does not turn me on. Let’s ignore the fact that this post is in list form…
9. I don’t WIAW (What I Ate Wednesday). I actually have something in the works for you on this topic.
10. I am proud of every single one of the above.
I prefer vampires to wizards, sleeping to workouts, anyone else to Gwyneth Paltrow, oatmeal to wild boar for breakfast, pasta to spaghetti squash, spontaneous cooking to meal prepping, peanut butter to allergies (sorry guys, I know you didn’t choose your allergies. It must SUCK!), disorganization to list-making, and photographing 10% of my meals to torturing you with my ugly/boring daily eats.
Keep calm and eat on.
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