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{Thinking Out Loud} The Gift of Time

February 27, 2014

This week is National Eating Disorders Awareness Week. While I am in no position to weigh in on the topic of Eating Disorders having never suffered from one, I do think of this week as an opportunity to bring awareness to a topic which is closely related, body image issues.

I, like the majority of young women (and men) have had my fair share of body insecurities. It’s sad to me that I can say with certainty that it is a majority, at least in the developed world. My story (for lack of a better description) is no different from most other females. Though I had absolutely nothing to be self-conscious about, images of women in the media brain-washed my perception of what my body ought to look like. It also didn’t help that I went to an all-girls middle and high school where as you can imagine, comparison was all too prevalent.

087d7f86cab9c439a051afd253aab3daCollege was more of the same, with a bit too much cardio and an excessive amount of diet cokes thrown in. Thankfully I never went far enough to put my health at risk, unless you count the awful stomach aches I would get from the insane amounts of sucralose I was consuming thanks to an abundance of fake food.

I wish I could pin-point a moment when it all changed for me. When I realized I was wasting too much of my life on caring about the way I looked even though 99% of the people in my life couldn’t care less. Or when I stopped eating “skinny” this or “low-calorie” that or counting the number of workouts I got in that week.

There was no moment. All of the above happened gradually. First with diet, and then with exercise. Now I am focused on basing my self-worth on what I have to contribute to the world, and not on how my body looks in the mirror.

I didn’t need to read the millions of articles out there on how the media is sabotaging our body perceptions (I knew that already), or experience a major health risk to make me come to these realizations. What I needed was time.

Time to realize that who I am is more important than what I look like.

Time to realize that I am happier not knowing what I’ll be eating for my next meal.

Time to realize that crop tops aren’t cool.

Time to realize that eating a salad before a night of drinking is ALWAYS a bad idea.

Time to realize that the number on your jeans is totally arbitrary and not even remotely consistent.

Time to realize that you don’t have to post a picture of yourself in a bathing suit on Facebook.

Time to realize that a workout doesn’t feel good based on the number of calories burned.

the-gift-of-timeIt got a point in my life where I was ashamed to be a well-educated, incredibly fortunate young woman who spent even half a second complaining about my cellulite. I’m better than that.

Do I still have my moments? Absolutely. But much less so than I used to. While I wish I could go back in time and tell my 18 year old self all of the above, I don’t think I would have listened. And it saddens me that so many people suffer far worse consequences than I did because they won’t listen either.

I can only hope that they too can benefit from the gift of time.

Thank you to the incredible Amanda for hosting us today!

Thinking-Out-LoudHow has your relationship with your body changed with time?

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  • Reply
    Arman @ thebigmansworld
    February 27, 2014 at 5:16 am

    I must admit, those recent selfies in pure raw form was by far the Davs I love….no need for crop tops, skinny legs and all that jazz. How crazy to look back in time and realise this. It’s inspirational to see your reflection and how far you’ve come. I consider my views on my own body in limbo- but a work in progress.

    Actually, I take that back. The davs with the ‘tash thanks to Google hangout was better.
    Arman @ thebigmansworld recently posted…He thinks…Out Loud #8

  • Reply
    Taylor @ Food Faith Fitness
    February 27, 2014 at 5:23 am

    Thank you for this! As soon who has had anorexia in the past, I definitely identify with this. However, I obviously got too carried away.

    I definitely still struggle a lot with the comparison game and your post really hit home for me…beautiful!

    And a salad before a night of drinking!? THE WORST!

  • Reply
    Jan @ Sprouts n Squats
    February 27, 2014 at 5:32 am

    Very well written post! I like you never had an ED but I certainly had habits that weren’t great >> hello diet coke too!

    Salad before drinking…or worse eating nothing before drinking is definitely NEVER a good idea! And crop tops I’ve always thought were a terrible fashion choice too 😉

    I still need to work on cultivating a better self image but I’m much better than I was too at 18.
    Jan @ Sprouts n Squats recently posted…Let’s talk about body image

  • Reply
    meredith @ The Cookie ChRUNicles
    February 27, 2014 at 6:11 am

    Salad before drinking – huge no-no! I have such a low tolerance (and low blood pressure) which keeps me from even being able to drink much at all (like literally, one drink max most of the time) and I must eat serious food and be hydrated in order to even start to sip.
    meredith @ The Cookie ChRUNicles recently posted…Thinking Out Loud- NEDA, Finding Balance And Amenorrhea

  • Reply
    Jess @dearhealthyness
    February 27, 2014 at 6:25 am

    Beautiful post! Having a positive image these days can be hard! With media, ads, society pressures, I mean, there is a lot of things trying to convince us that we have to delete cellulite, that we have to be a certain weight and look like VS models. Since I did experience ED twice in my life, and now I developed a healthy relationship with eating, I can actually say to people and media screw you! I know that insecurities will come from time to time, but now I don’t let the numbers on the scale define me!
    Jess @dearhealthyness recently posted…Eating Disorders Need Attention

  • Reply
    kathy @ vodka and soda
    February 27, 2014 at 7:06 am

    this is such a great post. i think we all have our insecure moments growing up; some of us still do. i think educating yourself on what it means to live a healthy lifestyle has a lot to do with learning how to be comfortable in your own skin regardless how heavy or fit you are. when i was younger, i was only concerned with staying skinny or making sure that i never went over size 4 instead of looking deeper into the health benefits of a clean diet and exercise; of understanding what healthy food does for your body; of how exercise benefits your heart and muscles and how it extends your life. i only learned all of this in my mid-30s, when i was at my heaviest and this knowledge helped me stay comfortable in my own skin even though i was overweight. i also think it has to do a bit with age. as you get older, you care less of what others think! at least that’s how it was for me.

    -kathy | Vodka and Soda
    kathy @ vodka and soda recently posted…humpday confessions

  • Reply
    Amy @ Long Drive Journey
    February 27, 2014 at 7:06 am

    It’s amazing to look back at your 18 year old self and realize how far you’ve come, isn’t it? The gift of time is, actually, a gift. I was back at my undergrad campus last week and I was so struck by just how different I am now than I was then. My whole concept of self has changed.

  • Reply
    alex @ therunwithin
    February 27, 2014 at 7:20 am

    all really beautiful points. I think we all have these ideas of how we need to look based on what society or others puts on us. it is a tough road to gain that confidence to just say that I am enough but always a worthwhile one.
    alex @ therunwithin recently posted…Loud Mouth: Go Time

  • Reply
    Tina Muir
    February 27, 2014 at 7:48 am

    You are so good at these posts! I LOVE reading all your posts, all the way through! You just have a way of connecting to us, it is amazing!

    I totally agree, that most of the problem here is not loving who we are. It is the comparison to others, it is the striving to be perfect (when there is no such thing). You have highlighted the points perfectly.

    I have also been through many weight fluctuations, but thankfully I have managed to stay around the same healthy weight for the last 3-4 years. As an elite athlete I am surrounded by other athletes with eating disorders and it breaks my heart. It is hard sometimes not to compare myself, and think about how much faster I would be, but I know the results are temporary, and you are destroying your body for the long term. Especially with how much strain we put our bodies through in the rigorous training of running that many miles. I am so thankful I am strong willed enough to not fall into that trap. Hopefully I can keep it up!
    Tina Muir recently posted…Superfood Southwestern Farro Bake

  • Reply
    Jo @ LIVING MINT GREEN
    February 27, 2014 at 7:55 am

    “Now I am focused on basing my self-worth on what I have to contribute to the world, and not on how my body looks in the mirror.” I like you. So very much.

    It’s interesting to look back and see how our perceptions evolve. As with most (if not all) women, I’ve gone through periods where I felt insecure. I’d be lying if I said I was confident with my appearance 100% of the time. There are physical “things” I *could* probably improve on, but I’m kinda lazy and really love food. Plus, I don’t have THE TIME or luxury to sit around and hate myself thin. Like… why? That’s my current attitude. Hahahaha
    Jo @ LIVING MINT GREEN recently posted…Thinking Out Loud {#6}

  • Reply
    Jackie
    February 27, 2014 at 8:13 am

    I love this post!!!!!
    Jackie recently posted…WIAW!

  • Reply
    Erin @ The Almond Eater
    February 27, 2014 at 8:20 am

    What a great post and look how far you’ve come! I’ve actually always had a pretty positive body image… (minus my acne but I don’t know if that counts). Yeah, my thighs touch but so do my moms and her moms–it runs in the family! My boobs are small-that also runs in the family, but who cares! Even the models aren’t perfect-totally airbrushed ya know. I’ve never cared too much, but I hate saying that because it makes me seem strange. Anyway, I am SO happy you are in a better place now and I agree that it does take time–lots and lots of time-but everything takes time 🙂
    Erin @ The Almond Eater recently posted…Thinking Out Loud #6

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 7:50 pm

      You are strange and it’s awesome. If only every woman could be as strange as you!

  • Reply
    Kim @ BusyBod
    February 27, 2014 at 8:30 am

    So, don’t judge me, but this post brought tears to my eyes. I think my own story is somewhere between yours and a full-blown, scary, severe health risks story. I’ve been trying to write it this week (and longer than that really) because I want to share it, but I’ve been struggling with the feeling that I don’t have a “right” to write about it, and, perhaps more seriously, it’s brought up a lot of emotions I didn’t know were still there. What I’m trying not so eloquently to say is that reading a lot of the things that time has taught you hit especially deep today. In a good way. So thank you. <3
    Kim @ BusyBod recently posted…National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 7:54 pm

      Kimby! I’m so sorry I’m late to replying but I wanted you to know I read this and of course I read your post on the topic last week (or was it two weeks ago…oh geeze I’m behind). You will always have a “right” to make your voice heard. Your journey is your journey and you never know who you might inspire along the way.

      I spent way too many years beating myself up over the way I looked. Too many wasted hours looking at myself in the mirror and asking “do I look fat in this?”. I hindsight, it’s ridiculous. I feel like I am wayyyy too educated and intelligent to even consider vocalizing these things. And I know when I look at you I think you are so beautiful and smart and successful that I’ll never understand how you’ve struggled with your self-image. But we all have those demons no matter what anyone else thinks. It’s just about suppressing them and realizing what really matters in life. Like this massive burger (sorry not veggie!) sitting in front of my face 🙂

  • Reply
    Becky @ Olives n Wine
    February 27, 2014 at 8:36 am

    Okay, I was going to post a serious comment until I read “Time to realize that crop tops aren’t cool” – HAHAHAH!! OMG, dying laughing over here. Those things are only cute on 3 year olds, seriously. Whatever fashion guru invented them needs to be punched in the face. Anyways, love this post and I love the direction you took your approach to this week.
    Becky @ Olives n Wine recently posted…Finding Balance

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 7:55 pm

      Every crop top in existence should be burned and preferably with those ridiculous head-bands that often come along…at an avicii concert…underage…#Imashamedofmyself.

  • Reply
    Megan (The Lyons' Share)
    February 27, 2014 at 8:42 am

    Wow … incredibly touching post from a unique perspective. I never would have expected anything less from you, but the words gave me goosebumps. Especially the part about being “better than” a well-educated, fortunate woman who worries about cellulite. And the part about how much you have to contribute to the world. Thank you for sharing, and for being the beautiful YOU that you are!
    Megan (The Lyons’ Share) recently posted…Natural Energy Rush {EBOOST Review + Discount Code!}

  • Reply
    Christine @ Gotta Eat Green
    February 27, 2014 at 8:59 am

    I don’t think 18 year old me would listen to me either. I thought I was fat, the fattest of all my friends (who even cares), so I was constantly trying to find ways to loose weight and improve my image. I was so obsessed with the scale and how much I was working out that I never just appreciated myself. I let this get in the way of friendships, family, and potential boyfriends because I didn’t want anyone to really know me until I was 10 pounds lighter. This is crazy and I wish I had the sense back then to realize I was healthy and perfect just the way I was.
    Christine @ Gotta Eat Green recently posted…Feeling Egg-cellent

  • Reply
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles
    February 27, 2014 at 9:05 am

    This is great love. It makes me sad to think that the vast, vast majority of women (at least in first world countries) are insecure about their appearance, when there is so many more important things to focus on. While I definitely have my moments, after going through an eating disorder I know that being ‘thin’ is not worth it…people’s time, attention, or health. We all need to be following your example and focusing more on what we contribute to the world rather than our reflections in the mirror.
    Sam @ Better With Sprinkles recently posted…Thinking Out Loud: NEDA.

  • Reply
    Ashley
    February 27, 2014 at 9:13 am

    So true! I can relate to this in many ways. I was never actually diagnosed with an eating disorder, but I think I definitely teetered on the border of having one. Luckily I never crossed that line, and realized the same things you have. It is sad that the media brainwashes young girls to think they should look a certain way, but that is why us bloggers do what we do to influence them to accept their bodies!
    Ashley recently posted…I just drank algae?!

  • Reply
    Ang @ Nutty for Life
    February 27, 2014 at 9:17 am

    Is it bad that I kind of like crop tops when paired with the right bottoms…. sorry. :/ Lol. So this post is really wonderful. Time does change your perspective on body image, and as much as I wish we could tell our young selves that we will get more comfortable with our bods as time goes on, without those struggles I don’t think we’d appreciate it when we do finally reach that point. I’m honestly still not 100% comfortable with my body. I love myself, I really do, but there are some parts that I don’t know if I’ll ever love (re: my post today). I think it’s okay if we aren’t 100 percent confident with ourselves as long as we can acknowledge all of the great things about ourselves, too. Lovely post, Davs.
    Ang @ Nutty for Life recently posted…Body Image: The Way My Stomach Looks [Thinking Out Loud #7]

  • Reply
    Amanda @ .running with spoons.
    February 27, 2014 at 9:31 am

    Muah! I absolutely adore you, you know that? I often say that I wish I could go back and slap some sense into my younger self, but I know I never would have listened — I feel like it’s something we all have to learn on our own. That being said, I honestly would never want to go back and relive my younger years. The insecurities and sense of constantly feeling lost are things I can definitely do without. I do feel like getting older definitely has a lot to do with it, though… You just get to a point where you’re like… why am I wasting my time on stupid crap that doesn’t matter?
    Amanda @ .running with spoons. recently posted…. thinking out loud #67 .

  • Reply
    Nikki @ Quest for Balance
    February 27, 2014 at 9:47 am

    I absolutely love this post, and completely feel the same way as you. I definitely still struggle with picking my body apart and not feeling great about myself but I’m now aware of this behaviour and ridiculous thoughts and am working on changing my thought patterns for good. I’m so happy to hear you’ve made it through the mind warp and are in a great place. It’s inspiring. Thanks for sharing this heart felt post. I think it’s something everyone needs to hear.
    Nikki @ Quest for Balance recently posted…Triceps, Biceps and Shoulders Workout

  • Reply
    Chelsea
    February 27, 2014 at 9:47 am

    I love your comparison to time. I struggled for years with anxiety, and often wish I could steal back the time I spent anxious over things I could not control. Going forward and being grateful for all of the additional time we get is a great outlook 🙂 HUGS
    Chelsea recently posted…Thinking Out Loud Thursday : 2/27/2014 – Learning To Love Food

  • Reply
    Meghan @fitnesscrEATures
    February 27, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Aw, Davida, I totally feel like I can relate to this. I can’t speak to eating disorders because I haven’t had one but I definitely have my moments of body image frustrations. Like you, high school and college were filled with junk and crap and gradually, I just learned how to take control of my body and how it feels through nutrition and working it out. It’s been an amazingly wonderful journey and I am so happy to have had it! And to have found awesome bloggers like you! 🙂
    Meghan @fitnesscrEATures recently posted…Weather.

  • Reply
    Tiff @ Love Sweat & Beers
    February 27, 2014 at 9:53 am

    Yes! It has certainly changed with time, and I guess it’s for the better. We all just put so much pressure on ourselves! Ugh.

    By the way, that fruit picture is oh-so-sad yet oh-so-adorable at the same time!
    Tiff @ Love Sweat & Beers recently posted…Everything I Could Fit In My Mouth

  • Reply
    Morganne @ Nut Butter Runner
    February 27, 2014 at 10:03 am

    I absolutely love this post! I can relate to you in the sense where I have never struggled with disordered eating, but it certainly is prevalent in this day and age. Social media, although wonderful, certainly isn’t helping the case. Posts like this (and others this week!) are wonderful to expose others out there to what reality may look like!
    (Super cute photo too!)
    Morganne @ Nut Butter Runner recently posted…Thinking Out Loud 7

  • Reply
    Deryn @ Running on Real Food
    February 27, 2014 at 10:17 am

    “When I realized I was wasting too much of my life on caring about the way I looked even though 99% of the people in my life couldn’t care less.” THIS! Life is too short! For me, this came with age for sure. I wish I could have told my 20yr old self to learn it sooner, but at least I’m there now!

    Lovely post, thanks 🙂

  • Reply
    Courtney @RunningforCupcakes
    February 27, 2014 at 10:25 am

    I definitely have a much better relationship with my body now than I used to. I have also never suffered from an eating disorder and for that I am so grateful, but I did have major body image issues in high school especially. I am finally at peace with my body because I’ve seen the amazing things it has allowed me to do. I enjoy delicious real food regularly and never deprive myself of my cravings. I coach Girls on the Run to middle school girls and some of the stories they share on the days when we learn about body image and eating disorders breaks my heart. I can only hope that one day being stick thin is no longer considered the perfect body.
    Courtney @RunningforCupcakes recently posted…Dear Legs,

  • Reply
    cait @pieceofcait
    February 27, 2014 at 10:44 am

    great post and couldn’t agree more. I have never been anorexi but being a young woman at 17/ 18 = some bad body image. we are surrounded by all different body shapes when we are 17-18 and then seeing what social media says… it deff made me think the worst of myself for awhile!!! I am not sure my turning point either and I would like to go back and really think about it.. but, I now have a good relationship with food and exercise. I used to hate rest days.. now I welcome those days with open arms! <3
    cait @pieceofcait recently posted…Greek yogurt chocolate chip muffins

  • Reply
    PB&Jess
    February 27, 2014 at 10:53 am

    Woof, deep. So glad people are starting to “rebel” against the media. This is a trend I can SO get behind. We should appreciate our bodies for what they are & not strive for that fake ideal. Nobody REALLY likes that fake idea anyway, we’re all tricking ourselves thinking that everyone does, which is outrageous. Hope more people hop on this bandwagon 🙂
    PB&Jess recently posted…Slutty Peanut Butter Blondies

  • Reply
    Alex @ Kenzie Life
    February 27, 2014 at 11:35 am

    So beautifully written, Davida!! I think that for a lot of people there isn’t one defining moment. I know I didn’t have one big one that just changed everything for me, but rather it was over time that I saw what I was sacrificing for a number on a scale or a clothing size on my jeans. Time is really healing, but I think it’s also effort and and practice loving ourselves and counteracting the negative messages we get from others that also helps. Thank you so much for sharing this! It was wonderful.
    Alex @ Kenzie Life recently posted…Do Your Part, Then Let Go

  • Reply
    FitBritt@MyOwnBalance
    February 27, 2014 at 11:39 am

    Great article Davida! I still struggle a lot with body hate rather than focusing on all the good things it does for me. Both of my husband’s sisters had eating disorders and are still incredibly thin so it can be hard to feel like “the fat one” and then I realize I am being soooo ridiculous. I am trying to focus more on the fact that I am strong and healthy and that should be enough.
    FitBritt@MyOwnBalance recently posted…At-Home Weights Workout

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      February 27, 2014 at 11:42 am

      I’m never this quick to respond (clearly you’ve learned that by now) but I had to tell you how absolutely gorgeous you are inside and out. You have so much to over to the world, don’t EVER forget that.

  • Reply
    Em @ Love A Latte
    February 27, 2014 at 11:43 am

    My relationship with my body has definitely changed drastically in the last 6 years. At 21, all I cared about was being skinny. I’d count calories and eat lots of fake food if it was low in calories. I tracked everything I put in my body and it was a really not fun game. I was skinny, but I wasn’t happy (or not happy enough). Embracing a plant-based diet changed everything for me. I could just eat when I was hungry and ironically enough I actually am (or was pre-pregnancy) thinner than I was in highschool and way happier than I was in my later college years. Now I just want to be healthy.
    Em @ Love A Latte recently posted…Pregnancy Journey – 13 Weeks

  • Reply
    Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat
    February 27, 2014 at 11:58 am

    This is an outstanding post Davida! I love your honesty and I certainly share in your experiences.

    I was SO self-conscious when I was younger (especially in high school). I thought I was fat, I didn’t like my hair, I thought I was ugly, I had acne, I had glasses, etc. It got to the point where I didn’t even like looking at myself in the mirror. I never told this to anyone before, but when I would go to the bathroom and wash my hands, I would stand to the side of the sink as opposed to the front of it, so I didn’t catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. It was bad!

    As I’ve grown older, my feelings toward my body have definitely changed for the better. My desire to eat healthy and exercise is not necessarily because I’m trying to maintain a certain image – I do it more so because I want to be as healthy as I can be for the future. I definitely have my moments to sometimes but in general, I’m more appreciative of my body and don’t feel the need to avoid the mirror like I used to.
    Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat recently posted…Why I Learned to Love to Plank

  • Reply
    Pamela @ Brooklyn Farm Girl
    February 27, 2014 at 12:05 pm

    All great tips for anyone, no matter the age. I wish I could go back to my younger self and give some advise, but like you mentioned, I probably wouldn’t have believed them either.
    Pamela @ Brooklyn Farm Girl recently posted…Chocolate Cake In a Mug

  • Reply
    Amanda
    February 27, 2014 at 12:28 pm

    If only you could go back and tell MY 18-year-old self all of this. Live. Learn. 🙂

  • Reply
    Kristina @ Damn Ten Pounds
    February 27, 2014 at 12:51 pm

    Oh man, I can’t even imagine the distortion and comparisons in an all girl school. Is it even possible to have a healthy body image at that age? There’s a lot of things I would scream at my 18 year old self if I could. Now I try to pass my “wisdom” off to my 20 year old cousin to ensure she has a positive body image. My body was never good enough… until I started running. That was my turning point. Before, my thighs would never be caught dead in shorts. Now, I’m like “fuck the flab, these legs can run 13 miles” and proudly wear what I want. It was a very liberating feeling!!
    Kristina @ Damn Ten Pounds recently posted…You had ONE job!!!

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 8:36 pm

      Let’s just say I will never send my daughter there…Now if only my bum knee would get it’s act together so I could run!

  • Reply
    Mary Frances
    February 27, 2014 at 2:43 pm

    Agreed! Even if it isn’t diagnosed, I think ED’s are (in some shape or form) in almost every girl’s head. I am very guilty of negative thoughts about body image. Who thought it was a good idea to rate people on pant size? And I couldn’t agree more about the crop top … yeah. It is incredibly liberating to just let it go and enjoy life outside of food and comparison. You nailed this post, girl!
    Mary Frances recently posted…Pear and Toffee Galette

  • Reply
    Melanie @ Happy Being Healthy
    February 27, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    I love this post and think you touched on so many points that so many women struggle with. It’s unfortunate that our world portrays the “perfect body” for women that is completely unattainable for most. I love your attitude of acceptance and love. 😉
    Melanie @ Happy Being Healthy recently posted…Cascadian Farms Protein Bar Review and Giveaway

  • Reply
    Shashi @ http://runninsrilankan.com
    February 27, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    The gift of time is a beautiful thing – we live and learn and grow in the process right ? 🙂
    Beautiful post by a beautiful lady.
    Shashi @ http://runninsrilankan.com recently posted…Thinking Out Loud-National Eating Disorders Awareness Week

  • Reply
    Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut
    February 27, 2014 at 4:02 pm

    So there’s like 248375 comments on this post and I feel like just another one…but…I love this post! Just because you didn’t have a seriously diagnosed eating disorder, doesn’t mean you haven’t been affected by the media and felt the pressure to look perfect!

    I’ve also never had an eating disorder, nor have I ever been overweight, but it has taken TIME to be comfortable in my own skin. I think it’s a little more tricky for women because compared to men, more emphasis is put on the way we look. It’s made 10 times trickier because our bodies change so much over the years and some of it (things like cellulite) are something we have absolutely no control over. For me it’s been a struggle to change jean sizes, I have to keep reminding myself I’m at a healthy weight, I eat well enough and I’m active so it’s all good!!

    Thanks for this post, girl! <3
    Amanda @ Diary of a Semi-Health Nut recently posted…Winner Winner #3 + Love Challenge Reminders

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 8:39 pm

      Girl this reminds me of the other day when I took my jeans out of the wash and tried to stretch them out by squating in them..needless to say they are now completely ripped at the crotch! Looks like it’s time for a new pair. I spent mayyyyybe 30 seconds being like “oh damn I think I’ve put on weight” but then I remember I eat pretty darn healthy, move my body and also want to eat burgers and french fries more than I want a small number on my skinny jeans.

      Glad you get me 🙂

  • Reply
    GiGi Eats Celebrities
    February 27, 2014 at 4:52 pm

    I think right now, it’s TIME to take a nap. LMFAO.

    Okay, that was super random and has nothing to do with body image. However, it could!!! Some people might use their spare time to exercise MORE (i.e. they already worked out this morning, but feel guilty for eating a big meal, thus they want to work out again)… While others might listen to their tired bodies and take a nap. I … Will take a nap, but I used to want to work out MORE! — Yes, I definitely work out for long hours every day, but I certainly won’t do it more than ONCE anymore!!! Those days, KAPUT !
    GiGi Eats Celebrities recently posted…Academy Award Winning Appetizers

  • Reply
    Lucie@FitSwissChick
    February 27, 2014 at 5:54 pm

    Bravo my Darling. Even if you think you did mistakes as that 18 years old – these were the ones that made you strong and the wonderful person you are today.
    Time is precious and probably the most important tool to learn. Thank you for being you and for inspiring me day by day!!
    Lucie@FitSwissChick recently posted…(Inter-)national Eating Disorders Awareness Week

  • Reply
    Andrea @ pencilsandpancakes
    February 27, 2014 at 7:32 pm

    This is a great post! Haha crop tops totally uncool. I am still waiting for the day I stop worrying about this. I am pretty confident it will come in time.
    Andrea @ pencilsandpancakes recently posted…Are we raising a society of enabled kids?

  • Reply
    Lindsay @ Shiny Love Affair
    February 27, 2014 at 7:33 pm

    Another amazing post! Couldn’t agree more about salads before drinking. WORST idea ever. Learned that the hard way many times. That aside, the issues surrounding body image is prevalent more than ever. I feel like 18 year olds have it more worst now with social media. I have an 18 year old brother who shows me what some girls his age are posting on instagram and it’s shocking. Belly tops and big boobs galore! While I do think there’s ways to pull off a belly top with the right bottoms, there’s so many girls out there that just seem to need so much reassurance. Even if its from strangers! I try to tell my brother that there’s so much more factored into beauty other than physical appearance. But try telling that to a teenage boy. Hopefully he will get it some day!
    Lindsay @ Shiny Love Affair recently posted…Weekly Workouts: Prep for Vaca

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 8:31 pm

      My friends little sister who I watched grow up (I’m the youngest of four so she was basically like my younger sister) is in her first year at Western and her pictures legit terrify me. I don’t remember showing THAT much skin and taking the pictures they take 6 years ago…I wish we could change the game but as we’ve both realized, these things just take time, I hope they figure it out.

  • Reply
    Lindsay
    February 27, 2014 at 7:46 pm

    Sometimes just having that moment click is all you need. What you had. It’s like you didn’t want to waste any more energy on those thoughts. So glad that you brought this to our attention as well. We all need the reminder.

  • Reply
    Alison @ Daily Moves and Grooves
    February 27, 2014 at 8:46 pm

    Time is most definitely an amazing tool. For me, it didn’t take much time to fall into disordered eating, but it has taken (and is still taking) quite a bit of time to completely divert from it.
    I was actually just thinking about the gift of time today when my pride got a little bruised during some tension with my mom. I was upset and trying to fight all the voices that were telling me to just put the pride aside, but as time went on, I realized that it was all just another lesson about humility. I then thought about how every lesson is like that— it seems like nothing is right at first, but with time, you always learn something from the situation.

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 8:26 pm

      Alison to have realized what you have at such a young age, is a gift! So many girls will start going down a really scary and disordered oath when they enter college but you’ve already seemed to figure out what’s important. I have a feeling you’re going to be a huge role model to so many women you encounter in your college years and beyond. What a privilege girl! Wish I’d been as in tune as you!

  • Reply
    Sara@fitcupcaker
    February 27, 2014 at 9:01 pm

    Great post!! I love the picture of all the fruit!!
    Sara@fitcupcaker recently posted…Triple Berry Protein Smoothie

  • Reply
    Chelsea @ Chelsea's Healthy Kitchen
    February 27, 2014 at 9:11 pm

    I like your ideas here! I definitely think time has allowed me to mature and learn to focus on what really matters – friends, family, relationships, happiness, etc. I’m in such a different place than I was 5 years ago, or even 1 year ago. It’s amazing how much our outlook can change in such a short time!
    Chelsea @ Chelsea’s Healthy Kitchen recently posted…Fig and date oatmeal

  • Reply
    Gabby @ the veggie nook
    February 27, 2014 at 9:17 pm

    My story is very similar to yours, although I must admit I still struggle with it, mostly because in the past couple years a health issue has lead me to gain 10 lbs- not a lot and I know this, but it causes me anxiety and makes me feel self conscious at times. I think body image for me will always be a work in progress, but I’m happy to say I’ve left my days of obsessive exercising and calorie counting behind me! Because you’re right, there are way too many things I have to be grateful for to be complaining about weighing more than I would ideally like. We are fortunate to live in a place where we have access to all the comforts in life and have the ability to learn and do whatever we want. Which is so much more important to focus on 🙂
    Gabby @ the veggie nook recently posted…building up to the big one: raw apple sauce

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 8:24 pm

      Amen! It just got to a point where I was like really? I am so incredibly lucky, why would I waste a second of my life caring if I fit some unrealistic ideal? Never again!

  • Reply
    Kim
    February 27, 2014 at 10:48 pm

    Definitely, my relationship with my body has changed. Now i’m pretty content with it most of the time and when I’m not I just make a few little changes without having any freak outs.
    My favorite thing was about eating a salad before a night of drinking being a BAD idea – so very true!!!
    Kim recently posted…Favorite Things

  • Reply
    Gina @ Health, Love, and Chocolate
    February 28, 2014 at 2:08 am

    Oh how I remember those sucralose stomach aches. I wasn’t a diet coke girl, but I had a very bad skinny vanilla latte habit. I can’t even begin to imagine the struggles a lot of these ladies have gone through, but I have really enjoyed seeing the love spread this week. No matter what point I am at in my life, I always try and give my body the thanks and love it deserves for functioning and allowing me to get up and do my thing every single day.

  • Reply
    rika@vm
    March 2, 2014 at 1:16 am

    Thanks for sharing this post! It’s true that almost everyone has body image issues when growing up! I used to be like that when I was in high school and Uni – but now, who cares?!! Love yourself more and being healthy is the most important thing in the world! There are plenty of yummy foods and varieties of workouts to enjoy!

  • Reply
    Heather @ Run Like a G!
    March 2, 2014 at 11:16 am

    Beautiful post Davida! I hate the way media portrays they way women are “SUPPOSE” to look. Women are beautiful – all sizes, shapes, and colors. We should spend more time caring for our health and our lives. What an excellent message you have here!
    Heather @ Run Like a G! recently posted…This weekend I will be telling you…

  • Reply
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets
    March 4, 2014 at 7:45 pm

    You’re right; time makes a huge difference. As you get older, you care less and less about this stuff, read less and watch less about celebrity lives and their “perfect” bodies. You start to really get comfortable in your own skin, you get confident, maybe a little sassy and before you know it you are hash tagging yourself as a vanilla gorilla. Oh wait that’s me. Yep, time makes all the difference.
    Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets recently posted…Week In Review: How To Prepare A Week’s Worth of Meals Edition

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 8:42 pm

      I hope time turns me into your spitting image because you are seriously bad-ass in my books (and Arman has given you 10000000 thumbs up which only adds to your greatness :))

  • Reply
    Consuelo @ Honey & Figs
    March 5, 2014 at 5:36 am

    I really like the way you write about these topics Davida. You never fail to disappoint me, and this post was clearly amazing to read. Your approach to live is so nice – if only everybody thought like you…
    xxxx
    Consuelo @ Honey & Figs recently posted…Vegetarian Tex Mex Bowls {Guest Post by To Her Core}

    • Reply
      Davida Kugelmass
      March 12, 2014 at 8:22 pm

      Consuelo! Thank you SO much! I really appreciate hearing that. You know I love your approach on life too. And all of your Pinterest finds too hehe 🙂

  • Reply
    aileen
    March 21, 2014 at 9:13 am

    yup yup is time to realize. i have been recover from eating disorder but recently it comes back again and i am trying to fight it by myself and of course with the support of my family. every time when i am depressed, your post gave a lot of support to me and it guide me to lead a more positive and healthy life. thank you so much . god bless you and your family .:)

  • Reply
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