These days everywhere you go there is someone with a food intolerance. Restaurants have become increasingly more accommodating and grocery stores offer lines of gluten-free, vegan, paleo, nut-free options that we couldn’t have imagined 10 years ago.
It’s pretty incredible to see how in tune people are becoming with their bodies, its needs and the foods they choose to nourish or not nourish themselves with.
But increasingly so I have noticed that these needs have created polarities between people who are intolerant to certain foods from those who aren’t. That suddenly the diet choices we make give us permission to judge those who choose to eat differently.
As food intolerances have increased, our food tolerance has decreased.
I certainly have a way I choose to eat. I’m an advocate for #allfoodsfit. I prefer to eat less meat, low-gluten and limited refined sugar, but when I decide I want a waffle or a donut or a bacon cheeseburger, I’m not going to deny myself it.
Likewise, I have friends with all kinds of food intolerances or preferences and even if I might not choose to eat that way, it doesn’t give me permission to pass judgment or criticism on the choices they make.
I have friends who are vegan, paleo, gluten-free, calorie counters and fast-food eaters alike. They have chosen to follow a certain lifestyle and I am in no position to tell them them otherwise.
It pains me when I see YouTubers attacking other content creators on the diet choices they make, or when I get called out for eating chicken. Or when Jordan gets hate mail for choosing to no longer be vegan or I get told that I’ve disappointed my readers because of a picture I posted on Instagram.
The other day someone was asking me what kind of expertise I have. “Are you an RD? A nutritionist? A trainer”. No, I’m none of the above, and at this time I don’t plan to get any of these certifications. What I love about THM is that I’m NOT an expert. I will never tell you how to eat, what diet will change your life or that I have the answers to ultimate health. I make choices for me and try my best to lead by example. If what works for me, works for you, awesome. If not, onto the next!
I ask you to do the same. To keep whatever judgments you have about other people’s diets to yourself and keep your eyes on your own plate. If you lead a life that makes you feel happy and fulfilled, people will notice. And when they feel up to it, they will ask you how you do it.
And if they don’t, unfollow. Don’t invest your time and your energy on trying to change people’s minds. And similarly, please don’t waste your time and energy on trying to change mine. This is my home and I won’t tolerate you passing judgment on the choices I make.
The takeaway here is simple, let’s be more respectful of each other. You are not a god for drinking green juice everyday and you are not a sinner for eating McDonalds. Everyone is on their own path and their own journey to health.
Be respectful, be encouraging, be tolerant.
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44 Comments
Amylou @ The No Grainer
October 8, 2016 at 5:48 pmLOVE this message!!! Friends would sometime be like “you’re eating a cookie?” as if just because I am usually very healthy means I won’t let myself indulge. Recently I’ve found a really supportive group of friends that admire the way I eat rather than judge which I think generates such positivity! Lets boost each other up rather than bring each other down!
And there seems to be so many debates these days about what the best way to eat is. Why can’t people just do them and I’ll do me? Def writing a post on that soon and how important it is to just ‘do you’ and be ok with it no matter how other people react.
Davida @ The Healthy Maven
October 10, 2016 at 11:59 amplease do! I’d love for this message to spread as far as possible!
Jennifer
October 6, 2016 at 12:34 pmGood post. I was once at a BBQ and a woman I didn’t even know got mad at me for eating something with gluten in it. She ranted and raved about how it was going to rot my insides. I walked away because I didn’t want to argue with a stranger, but it was really annoying that she felt the need to force her beliefs about food on me.
Davida @ The Healthy Maven
October 6, 2016 at 1:31 pmright?! What I deal with is that people can’t handle that I may choose to not eat something with gluten most of the time but occasionally will! It’s like I’m not allowed to be inconsistent!
lindsay Cotter
October 5, 2016 at 10:00 pmI feel like food has become like politics. And we definitely don’t need more discussion on that. PREACH it sista!
Davida @ The Healthy Maven
October 6, 2016 at 9:55 amI’m sure a certain politician would probably be the first to comment on other people’s diets….ahem. haha but seriously, when did food become polarizing instead of something that brings us together?
Chelsea's Healthy Kitchen
October 5, 2016 at 9:25 pmAmen! The more I practice as an RD, the more I realize that different people thrive on different diets. It’s all about following what works for you! That being said I do get concerned when a client is following a super restrictive diet (usually from hearing about it on tv, magazines, etc) without being truly informed about WHY or IF they need this diet, especially if they’re not happy following it.
Still though – all this diet judgement needs to stop! Well said girl. 🙂
Davida @ The Healthy Maven
October 6, 2016 at 10:01 amIt’s so true. There are definitely moments when I have to bite my tongue because someone has become vegan to lose weight or raw because they think it’s more “pure” (whatever the eff that means?!) but in the end, it’s not my battle to fight. Though I suppose it’s quite different when you truly are the expert, right?! Hope all is well, my dear!
Lauren
October 5, 2016 at 7:14 pmI just love this Davida and I am also for all foods fit after much of a journey my self. We need more and more posts like these in the “health” world!!
Davida @ The Healthy Maven
October 6, 2016 at 9:54 amI’ll keep em’ coming! You know I’ve got LOTS to say haha
Alicia @Bridges Through Life
October 5, 2016 at 5:19 pmLove this. So well said. I totally respect others diet choices and since I love experimenting, I happily make something gluten free or nut free to share with friends. I like to teach them about other options available and enjoy the treat with them. For me, I have really enjoyed eating more whole foods and less processed foods. It has made a difference in my energy levels, digestion and how I feel overall. I eat what makes me feel good and I do have a sweet tooth. Sometimes I just need a donut so I get one. I often feel so judged at work, because I bring salads or make healthier treats thanks to you ad other bloggers recipes and bring them in. But I do enjoy sugar filled treats too. It is all about the balance that works for me which doesnt necessarily work for someone else. You do you.
Dana Z
October 5, 2016 at 3:34 pmSo much yes to all of this. For the longest time I have gotten flack from people for being a vegetarian and trying to avoid dairy due to my lactose intolerance. On my blog I try to develop vegan recipes even though I eat eggs and have gotten personal messages on several accounts being called a hypocrite or that I promote a false sense of my true self (!). Seriously? Less criticism, more balance.
Davida @ The Healthy Maven
October 6, 2016 at 9:53 amRight?! It’s crazy how entitled people feel to comment on people they don’t know and whose values they don’t understand! Glad you’re sticking to your guns!
Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday
October 5, 2016 at 1:44 pmYes to everything you said. I limited my diet to Paleo for most of the summer and it made me feel great, but I felt weird/judged a lot. Still, I love healthy food, and there are obviously a lot of healthy foods (fruits, veggies, meat, nuts, blah blah blah) that are healthy and made me super happy. But when I started wanting to eat other things and decided to ease up, I “eased up” full force… to the point of honestly not feeling so great. But it doesn’t feel like people judge what I eat as much. I’m currently trying to get back to a place where what I eat makes me feel nothing but awesome – physically and mentally – because that’s what matters.
And to your point about not being an expert, you’re an expert on YOU, encouraging others to become experts on themselves. That’s how I try to view it for my own blog, because while I want to know it all and deal in absolutes, I just don’t. But I like to think people appreciate honesty and others’ experiences. I sure do!
Davida @ The Healthy Maven
October 5, 2016 at 1:57 pmyes! I always tell people that! No one is an expert on you but you, so I could never tell anybody without reasonable doubt how to live their lives!
I hope you are able to find a place where you can be both comfortable with how you nourish yourself and free of judgement from others. Hang in there!
Emily
October 5, 2016 at 12:58 pmYES friend! Thank you so much for this; for a long time I was not very tolerant of people who were gluten free because I lumped all of it into a fad. It was so unkind of me, and I’m so thankful for all my blogger friends that have explained why and how they really do need to avoid gluten. It’s really helped me to be more understanding and compassionate.
Davida @ The Healthy Maven
October 5, 2016 at 1:55 pmthat is so wonderful to hear! Thank you for spreading tolerance and love. That’s what this is all about!
Stacie | The Real Food Dietitians
October 5, 2016 at 12:49 pmI’m totally with you girl! I always get asked if i’m “Paleo”……and my response is always no, that I choose not to label myself because I believe that what’s most important is that I’m nourishing my body with the foods that make me feel my best and sometimes thats a piece of cheesecake or slice of the best pizza in town. So whatever diet it falls under- that’s not the point. Great post!
Davida @ The Healthy Maven
October 5, 2016 at 1:53 pmExactly the way I live! But apparently this idea, that our diet isn’t a religion to preach is uncomfortable for so many people. Ah well thank you for helping to spread a food tolerance movement!