I know that my blog is not a place where I talk about my job or career ambitions, but I felt the need to share this today. I hope that it can resonate with a few of you. For me, healthy living is not just about eating right and exercising, it encompasses so many things. I am a firm believer that being your healthiest self requires a sense of fulfillment. Fulfilment with your relationships, your job and especially yourself.
For the last year or so I haven’t felt fulfilled. I have an amazing life in front of me but I just wasn’t making the most of it. Most of this stems from my lack of contentment with my job (I do brain imaging research on babies born preterm and sick) but slowly these feelings started to creep into other areas of my life. I spent far too much time complaining and not enough time taking action. There are some people in life who have it all figured out. They’ve known from birth what they wanted to do with their life, got into a good college, continued on their professional path and life plays out as they expect it to. I am not one of those people.
Unless being a professional figure skater counts as a career ambition I really had no clear life aspirations growing up. Like most people, I knew I wanted to be successful, but in what domain I really had no clue. In university I switched my major 3 times before finally settling on psychology. I really did love studying psych. I find people fascinating so learning why people act like they do was really interesting to me.
To continue in the realm of psych you have one of two options, more school or research. I was looking to try something new so I opted for the latter. First in New York and then in Toronto. In my brief stint of funemployment between NYC and Toronto I knew that going onto another job in research wasn’t the right move for me, but I am a practical person and employment meant more to me than passion. I discovered quite quickly in my current job that passion is necessary to not getting burnt out. I was lacking that key element and my motivation waned.
Despite my lack of enthusiasm for research, I have been fortunate to have incredible bosses in both of my jobs. They epitomize intelligence and work ethic and the passion I see in them is something I would like for myself. I’m just in the wrong field. Coming to that realization was easy, but making the change was incredibly difficult.
Quitting has a bad reputation. It’s viewed as giving up or throwing in the towel, but I really don’t see it that way. Sometimes you have to let go of things that aren’t good for you. This year I had to quit running, and you know what? Life went on. If anything I’ve grown from the experience. And that’s how I’m choosing to view quitting my job, as an experience from which I can grow. I see it as an opportunity to try new things, step out of my comfort zone and become a better version of myself.
So what’s next? A few things. First, I will be dedicating more time to Kewaza. I could not be more thrilled with this opportunity and am excited to be a part of a growing company led by an inspiring young entrepreneur. I also will be trying my hand at some catering. Clearly I love to cook and bake and nothing makes me happier than having people share in this goodness.
I also want to expand my knowledge of nutrition and have toyed with the idea of taking classes. I’m waiting to see how much free time I have in the New Year before I commit to anything. I have a habit of overburdening myself and I’m trying to avoid this in 2014.
And then there’s the blog. I’m not going to pretend like I don’t have aspirations for it. I love this little space of mine and I love being a part of the blogging world. I do not anticipate blogging ever becoming a full-time gig, but food props can get expensive so the pocket change I make from ads helps to pay for those. I do, however see it as a platform to many different opportunities that will hopefully present themselves along my journey. I do NOT blog for the money. Blogging is my release, it’s what I look forward to at the end of the day and has connected me to unbelievably inspiring and talented friends around the world. I could not be more grateful to every single one of you who shows up here everyday.
It makes me nervous that I am giving up a formal title for an unknown one. I’m no longer a research assistant and instead am becoming a trick of many trades. I’ve made peace with the fact that I don’t need to have it all figured out. I probably never will, but I need to try out many different things to figure out what fuels my fire. Because if not now, when?