Finding My Blogging Voice

April 2, 2014

*warning: this is a long one!

I didn’t post on Monday. This might not seem like a big deal to you, and likely you didn’t even notice, but trust me, I did. I cannot remember the last time I skipped a Monday post. I really like posting on Mondays. It makes me feel like I’ve started my week off on the right foot and reinvigorates my love for this beautiful community I am proud to be a part of. 

But this Monday was different.

I actually had a post written, but at 2:00 AM I decided to unschedule it. After tossing and turning in bed I realized that my intuition was telling me that this post was not authentically “me”. I was stressing over how my words would be interpreted, if I even had the authority to speak knowledgeably on the topic or if it was even worth talking about at all. Because my gut was telling me not to post it, I didn’t. Two days later I am happy I didn’t. It’s given me time to reflect on both the content of the post and why I had such a hard time sharing it. *edited: In some sick turn of events I accidentally scheduled that post for this morning so I guess I ended up sharing it anyway. FML.

When I first started blogging no one knew about my blog. At least no one in my “real life”. It was easy for me to talk about whatever I wanted because I felt anonymous. Eventually I did open up to sharing my blog with my friends and family and began connecting with other bloggers in the healthy living community. I do not regret this decision one bit. I’ve learned more about myself and what I feel passionate about in the last year of blogging than I have in the last 5 years! I attribute a lot of this to my own blog, but also to the amazing bloggers who inspire me everyday.

In the 402 days I’ve been blogging I have become increasingly aware of my readers. Having readers is a great thing. Who doesn’t want people to read their blog?! I could not be more grateful for the people who come here everyday or stop by every so often. Your opinions matter to me, what you want to see matters to me. I want you to come here and enjoy a recipe or a workout or at the very least a good laugh about the ridiculous events that go down in my life. 

Then there are my friends, family and fellow bloggers who I love dearly but are very quick to share their opinions with me.

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Don’t get me wrong, I ask for a lot of feedback too. This is something that I will likely continue to do, but I need to start taking this feedback with a grain of salt.

I have a tendency of letting in too many voices. I let these voices dictate my decisions and I lose myself in the process. I’ve been finding that despite the millions of thoughts coursing through my head, I have very little to say. Mainly because I’ve let other people’s opinions (both direct and indirect) become infiltrated with my own. This can be confusing, contradictory and just plain exhausting. 

Lately I have felt far more inspired in the kitchen and with my camera than I have with my words. I don’t have profound thoughts or insights to share but I do have an insane amount of foodie creativity pulsing through me.

Maybe I’ll post too many recipes for you, or maybe you’ll be totally stoked about this. Maybe next week I’ll rediscover my inner buddha and guru Davs will pretend like she has something worthwhile to say. Or maybe you’re pissed that The Healthy Maven is now more than just a hobby for me, it is a business. 

I want to consider your opinions, they matter to me. I want to post recipes you want to see and want to make. I want you to also feel like I am present when I post. That I am 100% authentic with everything I have to say. But I’ve also come to realize that I can’t please everybody.

When I try to be something I am not, I forget who I am in the first place. 

This post is my way of finding my blogging voice.

phew I feel better 🙂

Are you someone who considers other people’s opinions? Bloggers, have you ever felt like you’ve “lost your voice”?


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  • Reply
    Catherine @ foodiecology
    April 6, 2014 at 7:20 pm

    I’m glad I clicked over to this post from Running with Spoons. 🙂
    I, too, have struggled to find my “blogging voice.” While I haven’t been blogging as long as you and haven’t make the leap into self-hosted so that I can run ads and hopefully turn my hobby into a business, I completely understand the struggles you’ve mentioned.
    For me, it’s so easy to get caught up in other people’s success, to think that I need to write deep posts like X blogger, or take creative pictures like Y blogger, or be funnier like Z blogger, but in the end, you’re doing yourself and your readers a disservice by trying to adopt somebody else’s voice.
    The people who read, enjoy, and support your blog will do so regardless of what you decide to post; maybe a recipe you adore and have to share isn’t for them, but they should respect your decision to share it and move on to the next post.
    I’ve learned, through my own reading, that people can tell when you’re not being 100% yourself. If somebody’s heart isn’t in their blog and they’re posting to satisfy a certain schedule or link-up, then the content shows! Keep doing what you’re doing; if you’re proud of your blog, others will feel the same.

  • Reply
    April 6, 2014 at 6:19 pm

    Okay, so I just found you through Running With Spoon’s link love post, and I was like, preach it sister! I rarely tell my family and friends about my blog. Sure, my mom read it. I think moms are required to do that sort of thing. But every post I write I’m terrified someone won’t like it. It’s too boring, I’m too personal, I’m not personal enough, I’m a “healthy living” blogger but I’m eating a burger and skipping the gym. But you know what? I read the blogs I read because I connect with the blogger. You can’t force chemistry. There are a lot of great blogs out there that I don’t read just because I don’t connect. And that’s fine, more power to them and there are tons of other people that enjoy them. Of course, I blog for a hobby and both of my 2 readers aren’t as fierce critics as I am so I suppose it’s different when your blog is your job. But at the end of the day, people can tell if you’re being authentic or not. So for me, I just make sure I still love doing it!
    Sorry, this is a long-winded comment. I just felt a wee bit inspired 🙂

  • Reply
    Consuelo @ Honey & Figs
    April 5, 2014 at 2:48 pm

    Whenever I’m busier than usual due to hectic exam weeks, I feel like I’m kind of losing my voice since I’m not always 100% happy with how my post look. However, I’m not able to spend more time editing my pics or writing wittier posts :'( And then I press the publish button thinking that it’s not the best I can do and ahhh those times suck.
    Anyway, most of the time I’m super super happy when I write and I really appreciate my readers and all the people I’ve got to meet thanks to blogging.
    And hey, girl, whatever you feel like blogging about, I’ll be here to read along! xxxx

  • Reply
    Alex @ Alex Runs For Food
    April 5, 2014 at 7:18 am

    I love all your recipes…. I think I could have a interest board just for your recipes 🙂 You will never be able to please everyone and unfortunately for some reason the negative remarks tend to stick more then the positive ones! As long as you are being yourself that is what matters. If you are happy we are happy!

    As for me…. My blog isn’t even a year yet so I don’t know if I have found my voice yet…. I’m still figuring things out.

  • Reply
    Kelly @ Femme Fitale
    April 5, 2014 at 5:30 am

    Great post, Davida. I completely understand how hard it can be to feel like you are searching for your voice. “Voice” is a writing concept I actually had to teach to 6th grade students, and I always found it to be the most challenging of all.

    I also understand what you mean about no one knowing you had a blog in the beginning. I was the same way. I don’t think it was until friends, family, and acquaintances started following my blog (and gaining reoccurring readers and followers) that I started really writing as “myself”. You’re kind of forced to be authentic when you’re exposed like that, which conveniently takes your writing to a new level. It’s definitely intimidating, though!

    I think opinions are definitely warranted, but it doesn’t mean you need to dwell on them or take them all seriously. It’s your blog, and in order to maintain YOUR VOICE, you need to make decisions that are best for you (not others)…whatever those may be. Keep writing, lady! 😉

  • Reply
    Alex @ Kenzie Life
    April 4, 2014 at 11:29 pm

    The way I see it, it’s your blog, so you get to choose what goes on with it. It’s hard to balance wanting feedback and getting it with also staying true to yourself, but ultimately I think authenticity beats everything else. I know I personally love blogs and post that you can tell people are committed to. It doesn’t matter if it’s a recipe or playlist or workout or story, if there’s passion behind it that’s what matters. At least for me. Hope you have a great weekend, beautiful <3

  • Reply
    Lauren @ Sweat The Sweet Stuff
    April 4, 2014 at 5:40 pm

    I love the food porn! And I don’t give a rats ass about calories! Lol when you eat real food it doesn’t matter, so I never post that either. Gotta stay true to you so keep doing what you’re doing cuz you’re killin’ it! In fact I love the collaborations you’re doing lately. I’d like to join in sometime. 🙂

  • Reply
    Tina @ Tina's Chic Corner
    April 4, 2014 at 10:08 am

    I can ABSOLUTELY relate. I get so uptight and grouchy if I think I’ll miss posting on a routine day. Why? Even if someone notices, is it the end of the world? It feels like it to me. I have to decide, is it quantity or quality that I’m after. I chose quality…and there’s nothing wrong with that.
    I do consider every comment or opinion left on my blog, but in general I’m like that with life … a people pleaser. If someone starts out blogging about fried food recipes and sees that they start to have a following of healthy eaters, and as a result changes to healthy food recipes, is that a bad thing? Maybe the change will make the blogger a better person. Or maybe the change is turning the blogger into someone they’re really not. It’s a fine line between changing (or be swayed by commentators) because you want to improve yourself versus changing into someone who’s not the real you. Only the person can decide which it means to them. I hope that makes sense.
    I constantly evaluate why I do something for my blog… am I doing it for me? To appease someone who’s left a nasty comment? To change because I want the change? To change because everyone else is doing it (peer pressure)? At the end of the day, I want to stay true to myself, while allowing myself to evolve into a better person. But I am human and sometimes I make the wrong choice. I also have to learn that mistakes are okay and then move on. Blogging has definitely been a great way to learn about myself, something that is almost too hard to put into words.

  • Reply
    Nikki @ The Road to Less Cake
    April 4, 2014 at 9:33 am

    I often care too much what people think, both in the ‘real’ world and blog world, and if I’m honest, often probably isn’t a strong enough word. I have this constant need to please people. Yeah, I’m a strange one. I’ve actually been holding back from sharing a couple of recipes, namely ones that use bacon, because I’m worried about what people think. I don’t eat a lot of bacon but James loves it, so I’ve come with a couple of healthier recipes using it that we can both enjoy. But I think bacon is one of those foods that causes controversy. Obviously paleo lovers eat bacon but then a lot of ‘clean’ eaters say not to touch it. And I’m sort of in the middle, I eat a little meat but I also eat a lot of plant based food too.

  • Reply
    Nicole @ Foodie Loves Fitness
    April 3, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    I think I’ve said this before to you, but I say that you should blog about whatever you want to blog about. If you feel like overloading us with yumminess, do it. If you aren’t feeling creative in the kitchen and have other things you feel like writing about, do it. If you want to just post pictures, go for it. Your readers have grown to love the unique person that you are, and I say to just go with your gut and not overthink it. I am so with you that a blog should be authentic and genuine — especially when it’s your biz or linked to your work. And PS – I think you’re awesome!

  • Reply
    [email protected]
    April 3, 2014 at 6:57 pm

    Ah yes, I lose my voice all the time. I blog about having nothing to say or losing my funny and eventually it comes back. I do find it interesting that I lose it when my kitchen shenanigans are at a peak. I’m thinking my brain can only handle so much creativity at once. If it’s all going to the food creation and pictures, there’s nothing left for writing.

    You’ll never be able to please everyone; I’ve learned personally, professionally and the hard way. Don’t bother trying. just be you, be kind and do things with good intentions and the rest will work out. Oh and congratulations on making your blog a business. That’s awesome and an achievement. Good for you!!

  • Reply
    Heather @ Kiss My Broccoli
    April 3, 2014 at 2:57 pm

    Own it girl! Own whatever the heck IT is for YOU! I have to say I’m impressed by your ability to stand by your beliefs and not be swayed. Like you, I also have a tendency to take too many words of advice/opinions…but usually what ends up happening is that I hold it all in until I burnout or rebel. For a while, KMB seemed to be going in the direction of a business, but then I realized that I was just allowing myself to get caught up in the “better your blog, do this, do that!” thing and it’s not really what I want. I want my blog to be fun. I want it to be a creative outlet. But most of all, I want to WANT to post…and never have it feel like an obligation. I think sometimes I just allow myself to get too caught up in blog world and forget about the REAL world. I want to live to blog, not blog to live! 😀

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