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*warning: this is a long one!
I didn’t post on Monday. This might not seem like a big deal to you, and likely you didn’t even notice, but trust me, I did. I cannot remember the last time I skipped a Monday post. I really like posting on Mondays. It makes me feel like I’ve started my week off on the right foot and reinvigorates my love for this beautiful community I am proud to be a part of.
But this Monday was different.
I actually had a post written, but at 2:00 AM I decided to unschedule it. After tossing and turning in bed I realized that my intuition was telling me that this post was not authentically “me”. I was stressing over how my words would be interpreted, if I even had the authority to speak knowledgeably on the topic or if it was even worth talking about at all. Because my gut was telling me not to post it, I didn’t. Two days later I am happy I didn’t. It’s given me time to reflect on both the content of the post and why I had such a hard time sharing it. *edited: In some sick turn of events I accidentally scheduled that post for this morning so I guess I ended up sharing it anyway. FML.
When I first started blogging no one knew about my blog. At least no one in my “real life”. It was easy for me to talk about whatever I wanted because I felt anonymous. Eventually I did open up to sharing my blog with my friends and family and began connecting with other bloggers in the healthy living community. I do not regret this decision one bit. I’ve learned more about myself and what I feel passionate about in the last year of blogging than I have in the last 5 years! I attribute a lot of this to my own blog, but also to the amazing bloggers who inspire me everyday.
In the 402 days I’ve been blogging I have become increasingly aware of my readers. Having readers is a great thing. Who doesn’t want people to read their blog?! I could not be more grateful for the people who come here everyday or stop by every so often. Your opinions matter to me, what you want to see matters to me. I want you to come here and enjoy a recipe or a workout or at the very least a good laugh about the ridiculous events that go down in my life.
Then there are my friends, family and fellow bloggers who I love dearly but are very quick to share their opinions with me.
Don’t get me wrong, I ask for a lot of feedback too. This is something that I will likely continue to do, but I need to start taking this feedback with a grain of salt.
I have a tendency of letting in too many voices. I let these voices dictate my decisions and I lose myself in the process. I’ve been finding that despite the millions of thoughts coursing through my head, I have very little to say. Mainly because I’ve let other people’s opinions (both direct and indirect) become infiltrated with my own. This can be confusing, contradictory and just plain exhausting.
Lately I have felt far more inspired in the kitchen and with my camera than I have with my words. I don’t have profound thoughts or insights to share but I do have an insane amount of foodie creativity pulsing through me.
Maybe I’ll post too many recipes for you, or maybe you’ll be totally stoked about this. Maybe next week I’ll rediscover my inner buddha and guru Davs will pretend like she has something worthwhile to say. Or maybe you’re pissed that The Healthy Maven is now more than just a hobby for me, it is a business.
I want to consider your opinions, they matter to me. I want to post recipes you want to see and want to make. I want you to also feel like I am present when I post. That I am 100% authentic with everything I have to say. But I’ve also come to realize that I can’t please everybody.
When I try to be something I am not, I forget who I am in the first place.
This post is my way of finding my blogging voice.
phew I feel better 🙂
Are you someone who considers other people’s opinions? Bloggers, have you ever felt like you’ve “lost your voice”?
I often care too much what people think, both in the ‘real’ world and blog world, and if I’m honest, often probably isn’t a strong enough word. I have this constant need to please people. Yeah, I’m a strange one. I’ve actually been holding back from sharing a couple of recipes, namely ones that use bacon, because I’m worried about what people think. I don’t eat a lot of bacon but James loves it, so I’ve come with a couple of healthier recipes using it that we can both enjoy. But I think bacon is one of those foods that causes controversy. Obviously paleo lovers eat bacon but then a lot of ‘clean’ eaters say not to touch it. And I’m sort of in the middle, I eat a little meat but I also eat a lot of plant based food too.
I think I’ve said this before to you, but I say that you should blog about whatever you want to blog about. If you feel like overloading us with yumminess, do it. If you aren’t feeling creative in the kitchen and have other things you feel like writing about, do it. If you want to just post pictures, go for it. Your readers have grown to love the unique person that you are, and I say to just go with your gut and not overthink it. I am so with you that a blog should be authentic and genuine — especially when it’s your biz or linked to your work. And PS – I think you’re awesome!
Ah yes, I lose my voice all the time. I blog about having nothing to say or losing my funny and eventually it comes back. I do find it interesting that I lose it when my kitchen shenanigans are at a peak. I’m thinking my brain can only handle so much creativity at once. If it’s all going to the food creation and pictures, there’s nothing left for writing.
You’ll never be able to please everyone; I’ve learned personally, professionally and the hard way. Don’t bother trying. just be you, be kind and do things with good intentions and the rest will work out. Oh and congratulations on making your blog a business. That’s awesome and an achievement. Good for you!!
Own it girl! Own whatever the heck IT is for YOU! I have to say I’m impressed by your ability to stand by your beliefs and not be swayed. Like you, I also have a tendency to take too many words of advice/opinions…but usually what ends up happening is that I hold it all in until I burnout or rebel. For a while, KMB seemed to be going in the direction of a business, but then I realized that I was just allowing myself to get caught up in the “better your blog, do this, do that!” thing and it’s not really what I want. I want my blog to be fun. I want it to be a creative outlet. But most of all, I want to WANT to post…and never have it feel like an obligation. I think sometimes I just allow myself to get too caught up in blog world and forget about the REAL world. I want to live to blog, not blog to live! 😀
Love this post, lady. Writing a blog can be really freaking mentally taxing in ways you’d never expect. Will my readers hate me if I use whole-wheat flour and not a gluten free alternative? Will they stop following me if I take a much-needed break from writing? Will I get stoned to death if I write about how I’m NOT into whole30? It’s so easy to guess lost when you have a bajillion people soliciting advice. You do you and I’ll do me gurrrrl. We’ll always love ya. Duh. KISSEZZZZZZZ
I was actually so excited to find two posts from you in one day! And both of them were excellent, I thought you nailed both. I agree with you, once I got over the “need” for comments, I realized I looked forward to commenting on some blogs and not others. When I weeded those out, commenting became fun, not a chore. And I feel you COMPLETELY on blogging “voices.” When nothing exciting has happened, I find myself doing the same thing I see on other blogs – just describe the food. I forget I can have with what I post and that it doesn’t have to look like everyone elses. Thank you for sharing, Davida!
From day one, I always tried to be honest but as my life progressed, I was changing, therefore the tone of my blog was changing. Sometimes it is hard to NOT compare ourselves to other bloggers and how they run their blogs. In the end though, it is OUR blog. We shouldn’t care what people think.
People love you and they are going to keep coming back to see what you are posting about. If they don’t, their lost. You have an awesome blog with amazing followers! OWN IT 🙂
This is awesome! The fact that you hesitated about publishing that post just goes to show how genuine you are – and that’s what I love about you! As bloggers we’re always going to hear people’s opinions about our blogs… but you’re 100% right that we can’t please everyone. So just keep on being true to you and you’re golden. 🙂
I was so excited to read this after our chat last night. You know in your heart when you’ve “sold out” – trying to make a living off something you love isn’t selling out, it’s being smart and savvy. Do you think Queen B ever drinks Pepsi or wears H&M? Probably not, and no one is accusing her of selling out – she’s leveraging her ASSets (sorry, had to).
If people have so many negative opinions about a blog, let them go start their own blog. Or better yet – go find another one to read.
I think that you have a unique and funny way to share the recipes, and I love it!! However, I do believe, that while you need to listen to your readers, you can’t please everyone. People will always have something to say, but as long as you stay true to who you are you’ll be successful. People that truly enjoy your blog will keep reading it, and enjoying all of your recipes and projects!! Keep the good work, and don’t forget to enjoy the ride!!