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*warning: this is a long one!
I didn’t post on Monday. This might not seem like a big deal to you, and likely you didn’t even notice, but trust me, I did. I cannot remember the last time I skipped a Monday post. I really like posting on Mondays. It makes me feel like I’ve started my week off on the right foot and reinvigorates my love for this beautiful community I am proud to be a part of.
But this Monday was different.
I actually had a post written, but at 2:00 AM I decided to unschedule it. After tossing and turning in bed I realized that my intuition was telling me that this post was not authentically “me”. I was stressing over how my words would be interpreted, if I even had the authority to speak knowledgeably on the topic or if it was even worth talking about at all. Because my gut was telling me not to post it, I didn’t. Two days later I am happy I didn’t. It’s given me time to reflect on both the content of the post and why I had such a hard time sharing it. *edited: In some sick turn of events I accidentally scheduled that post for this morning so I guess I ended up sharing it anyway. FML.
When I first started blogging no one knew about my blog. At least no one in my “real life”. It was easy for me to talk about whatever I wanted because I felt anonymous. Eventually I did open up to sharing my blog with my friends and family and began connecting with other bloggers in the healthy living community. I do not regret this decision one bit. I’ve learned more about myself and what I feel passionate about in the last year of blogging than I have in the last 5 years! I attribute a lot of this to my own blog, but also to the amazing bloggers who inspire me everyday.
In the 402 days I’ve been blogging I have become increasingly aware of my readers. Having readers is a great thing. Who doesn’t want people to read their blog?! I could not be more grateful for the people who come here everyday or stop by every so often. Your opinions matter to me, what you want to see matters to me. I want you to come here and enjoy a recipe or a workout or at the very least a good laugh about the ridiculous events that go down in my life.
Then there are my friends, family and fellow bloggers who I love dearly but are very quick to share their opinions with me.
Don’t get me wrong, I ask for a lot of feedback too. This is something that I will likely continue to do, but I need to start taking this feedback with a grain of salt.
I have a tendency of letting in too many voices. I let these voices dictate my decisions and I lose myself in the process. I’ve been finding that despite the millions of thoughts coursing through my head, I have very little to say. Mainly because I’ve let other people’s opinions (both direct and indirect) become infiltrated with my own. This can be confusing, contradictory and just plain exhausting.
Lately I have felt far more inspired in the kitchen and with my camera than I have with my words. I don’t have profound thoughts or insights to share but I do have an insane amount of foodie creativity pulsing through me.
Maybe I’ll post too many recipes for you, or maybe you’ll be totally stoked about this. Maybe next week I’ll rediscover my inner buddha and guru Davs will pretend like she has something worthwhile to say. Or maybe you’re pissed that The Healthy Maven is now more than just a hobby for me, it is a business.
I want to consider your opinions, they matter to me. I want to post recipes you want to see and want to make. I want you to also feel like I am present when I post. That I am 100% authentic with everything I have to say. But I’ve also come to realize that I can’t please everybody.
When I try to be something I am not, I forget who I am in the first place.
This post is my way of finding my blogging voice.
phew I feel better 🙂
Are you someone who considers other people’s opinions? Bloggers, have you ever felt like you’ve “lost your voice”?
Holla. I absolutely love the voice and personality I get from you through your blog! Even though there are a billion and one recipe blogs out there, there is something very unique about your style and recipes. I’m a fan 🙂
I’ve definitely struggled with trying to find my voice in blogging: should I be more serious? less quirky? more quirky? more fit-buff-y? I do like to listen to feedback as well, but for the most part, I’m just doin’ what I do, because that’s the reason for which I started blogging!
I love this because I feel like it is tough to find that sweet spot of a blogging voice, especially when there are many different facets of your personality that are itching to come out in your writing. I think that a balance is reached as long as we are sure to always be our authentic self while writing, and taking care not to let outside opinions influence how we write or what we write about.
Also, your unscheduled post popped up on my reader and I loved reading it, because although I can definitely understand following your gut about not posting it, it was something I could so relate to.
Yup. I totally get this. For a while I was worried about sharing anything about my personal life because my life revolved around applying to grad schools and I didn’t want to share anything about that unless I had some decent news to share. So my blog started going in the direction of just recipes and reviews. Now that I can go back to sharing my life, I don’t really know where to start. I want my blog to progress and get better and I don’t feel like sharing my entire day’s schedule with reader’s is really “quality” anymore like I used to post. So what do I want to post about? When I do do reviews, does it show that I actually genuinely like the product or does it just sound Ad-y. <– it's a word, go with it. So IDK, I'm still trying to figure it all out 🙂 But I get you, girl. And it's great that you shared this. Nice to know that I'm not the only one.
I guess I don’t understand why people would make those kind of comments in the first place. I love reading your blog and if you want to post recipes with tons of ingredients every day or a workout a day or just share about your weekend, I will keep reading. It is your blog and your space to share whatever you want to whenever you want to!!!
I think it’s safe to say you know how I feel about you and your blog <3 Don't listen to that doubting voice in your head. You are 100% authentic and I actually envy your blogging voice that you have found in such a SHORT amount of time. Keep doing you girl!
Davida, love how you wrote this, thanks for sharing! From the heart, totally can relate to it all. What blogger can’t? Hard to ignore the voices, because you want to hear feedback. But to always tell yourself this is your blog, not theirs. The right readers will come along and will love what you write. Hard to be authentic! I recently heard a quote that stuck with me (I’m a bit obsessed with quotes!) Here is the quote by Andy Worhal “Don’t think about art, just get it done. Let everyone else decide if it’s good or bad or whether they like it or not. While they are deciding, make even more art.” Isn’t this great?
I’ve been struggling a lot with this lately as well. I just haven’t been inspired when it comes to the kitchen. I think it’s because I’ve been so busy with work. I just haven’t had the time to sit down and get creative. I beat myself up over this because I know a lot of people like recipes! Lately I’ve done a better job at telling myself that it’s my blog and I can post, write, and share about whatever I want. I just want to be me and not pretend to be someone else or force myself to post in a certain category when I’m not feeling it lately. I never want it to seem like a chore or something on a to-do list I’m dreading to check off. I want to be excited about what I put out there. I personally think you do an AMAZING job with your blog. Keep doing what you’re doing because it’s working 🙂
Davida – thank you so much for your honesty in this post. I also started out secretly blogging and then decided to make it public. Over time people I know have trolled my blog to find out information about me, instead of just asking me, and I’ve had people start rumours and talk behind my back. It’s hard. Really hard. I’ve tried very hard to stay true to ME so I know I’ve done my best and the haters can suck it 😉
At the end of the day, be YOU. Post what YOU want. I think so long as your honour yourself, you’ve done all you can do.
xo.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with considering other people’s opinions… HOWEVER, we just all need to be careful that we don’t trust them implicitly over our own when it comes to US. 🙂 Keep doin’ yo’ thang, gurl. 🙂
I only began blogging this past year and I agree with you. Finding your voice is difficult. At first, I found myself talking about what I learned or discovered on my journey. I realized over time that certain topics and recipes drew a larger readership. I started tailoring posts toward those topics to gain more readers and followers because at the end of the day a blog is a business. Having said that, I still right what I am passionate about though and will stand by that. Afterall, it is my blog and if I don’t support a particular topic or product I’m not going to do it.