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Things I’m Afraid to Tell You

January 24, 2017

I honestly don’t even know where to begin with this post. I feel like I’ve been writing it for weeks in my head, but as I sit here attempting to release it I feel so much resistance. I know it’s my ego. It wants to desperately protect me and keep the facade that everything is magical and perfect. But as most of us know, that kind of life doesn’t actually exist.

My friend texted me this the other week: “The Healthy Maven seems like she’s doing great, but how are YOU?”. Everything that has been happening is summed up perfectly in this one message. I try to keep THM a positive place. It’s not the dumping ground for my mess and while I’ve never claimed to be perfect, it’s not my goal to bring you down with me. But that doesn’t mean that behind the brand I don’t have bad days, or weeks or questioned if I’m legitimate enough to be inspiring anyone, let alone half a million of you.

But in the process of trying to not let my mess seep into my business, a wall was built. A wall that I’m tired and quite frankly, not very good at keeping upright. So I’ve decided to let it out and let you in.

I also want to say that things have not been all bad. Nothing in life is ever that black and white. It’s just that I’ve spent the last few months highlighting the good and while I’m certainly an advocate for focusing on the positive, I think it’s a disservice to all of you to let anyone feel as though life should look like unicorns and rainbows for it to be normal. Especially when it comes to health. We all have seasons in our lives full of great moments and even greater obstacles.

I hope this post can help tear down this wall I’ve built between us, but also inspire you to be honest with yourself and your community. There is no shame in imperfection.

Last thing I wanted to add was that the theme for this post was inspired by Jess Lively from The Lively Show Podcast based on a post and episode she shared. Thank you to Jess for encouraging me to speak my truth. I hope this post can do the same for you.

things-im-afraid-to-tell-you

THE MOVE.

Perhaps the biggest news and subsequently the thing I’ve most struggled with not telling you is that WE MOVED. My close friends and family have known what’s been going on, but I intentionally kept this news off the blog. We left Toronto for a lot of reasons and I’m so grateful for the time we were able to spend in Minnesota with C’s family in the Fall. C and I had talked about moving to California since we started dating 5 years ago so after packing up all of our stuff to spend some time in Minnesota, we figured “Hey! Let’s try out this whole California thing!”.

So for those of you who have asked and who I’ve intentionally dodged your questions, or who have been wondering what the heck is going on:

We moved to San Francisco.

It’s still kind of surreal to type that and it definitely has not sunk in yet, but it’s starting to.

One of the biggest reasons why I didn’t share this news was because we wound up facing a lot of challenges in our move. On the practical side, we ran into some issues with being Canadians who had no credit in the US (we’re both US citizens too, we just hadn’t established credit) and after totalling our car, our plan to be outside of the city was kind of shot. We basically had to take the whole life we had imagined for ourselves out here and flip it on its head.

I was surprised by how emotional the whole experience made me. This certainly wasn’t my first move, but I think I was so focused on 7 steps ahead that I forgot or failed to prepare myself for the obstacles that you inevitably run into when you move. I also never let myself get emotional about what we were leaving behind in Toronto. We had a really great life there (and still do!) and it was only when the going got tough out here that all of this became abundantly clear. And while I know now that we made the right decision, it was hard not to dwell on what we had lost. I was and am still missing my family, my bestie, our close friends, and Rhett (!!!), but I’m also realizing that I can miss them and also build a really great life out here.

They say to “go where you’ll grow” and I’ve never doubted for a second that this whole experience has been one of the most growth-inducing of my life. I’m better for it, even if it involved a lot of tears and frustrations. I’m happy to say we’ve weathered the eye of the storm (or so I think) and I’m now feeling a lot more optimistic and excited about our decision.

Stay tuned for an apartment tour and lots more adventures in the Bay Area. Also if you’re from the Bay and want to connect, I would love that! I’m shamelessly looking for friends lol

THE CRASH.

As I’m sure you’ve all heard by now, on our road trip out to San Francisco, we hit a deer and totalled our car. I’m probably annoying all of you by still talking about it, but honestly, I haven’t been okay. In the immediate aftermath it hadn’t really sunk in what had happened and I was laser focused on getting back on the road and finishing the trip rather than dealing with the emotional impact of it all.

As I think back on the experience and see pictures of the car, I realize how incredibly fortunate we were to have all come out of it unscathed. Had C swerved or had the deer been in a different position, it might have ended very differently. Of course, there is no value in playing the “what if” game other than to be a motivator to really appreciate and value what you have, but it still scares the living wits out of me.

One unfortunate side-effect of all of this is that I start to panic a little bit when I hear loud, sudden noises (I was freaking out with all of the fireworks in Guatemala), and driving, which was already my greatest fear has become a nightmare. I know it will get better with time, but I thought you should know where I’m at.

THE REDESIGN.

Since we’ve all hopped on board this honesty train, I have to admit that I strongly dislike the layout and design of the blog. So much so that I’ve pretty much stopped looking at the blog or previewing new posts. It makes me sad to say this, but I just don’t feel like the design really reflects what the blog is about anymore. About 6 months ago I launched a redesign process and hired who I believed to be “the dream team”. I blame no one but myself but the whole situation unfolded in a direction I had a gut feeling was the wrong one and in the end it resulted in a site that I’m neither proud of nor do I think is any better a reflection of THM than the current design.

It was hard, frustrating and just generally really sad to see a lot of resources (mainly $$$) and time wasted on this process, but I’m trying (emphasis on trying!) to get past this. It unfortunately means that the dream site I’ve been hoping for will have to take a back seat while I regroup but will hopefully become a reality in the future.

I’d like to believe THM is sort of like a hole-in-the-wall restaurant, where the exterior doesn’t show-off how good the food is inside. At the end of the day, I want to do good and meaning-full work so the frills can wait!

Of all 700+ posts I’ve written on the blog, this one has to be the most cathartic. I’ve always found writing to be one of the best forms of therapy and it’s only amplified when your truth is released to a group of amazing readers that have supported you through it all.

There are a lot of great things coming. Things I’m unbelievably excited for (next season of the podcast woot!). But there will be challenges too. I’m doing my best to not run away from these challenges or hide them from you. In so many ways, you guys are my community and no one should ever have to weather a storm alone.

Thank you for always being so supportive and joining along as I share each season of my life. Both the good, and the bad.

Lots of love.

-D

things-I'm-afraid-to-tell-you-2photo by Bettina Bogar

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  • Reply
    Brie @ Lean, Clean, & Brie
    January 24, 2017 at 6:15 am

    Love your honesty in this post Davida. I was guessing that you moved to Cali and that this was the surprise you have been hinting at — congratulations! that is exciting and I cannot wait to see all of your adventures in San Francisco!!
    Brie @ Lean, Clean, & Brie recently posted…Cinnamon Crumb Coffee Cake

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 12:55 pm

      Thank you so much, lovely! As the dust has begun to settle I’m feeling incredibly fortunate for this new adventure. Thank you for following along and being such an awesome support!

  • Reply
    Liz
    January 24, 2017 at 6:54 am

    Congratulations on your move! Based on your posts recently, I had a pretty good hunch that was what was going on and figured you’d share when you were ready. =) Very exciting. I’ve only visited the Bay Area once but my experience was very positive. Favorite part was going to Tambo Peruvian restaurant and enjoying about five kinds of ceviche and trying some new meats (beef heart, anyone?) for the first time. The owner served us and made the whole experience absolutely delightful (and beyond delicious).

    I’m about to make my first big move since college and while no where near the magnitude of yours, I’ve definitely been hesitant to share about it! I finally gave in and told my parents last week! I was being such a chicken about telling them. Now the only place I haven’t shared it is my blog, and I’m still not sure when I want to share it on there, y’know?

    I hope your new home is everything you want it to be and that you find a friend group that makes you happy and helps you be the best version of yourself – having folks like that makes the world such a better place, IMOH. =) I also hope your crash PTSD will fade sooner than later into the rearview mirror, though I know from experience that kind of thing takes time.

    Cheers to you and C and Bodhi
    Liz recently posted…Partner vs. Pet

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 12:57 pm

      Thank you so much, Liz! Wishing you all the best in your next adventure and if I’ve learned anything from this experience, it’s to be okay in feeling all the feels and know that all things will pass, especially the hard stuff. Will definitely keep an eye out for that restaurant! xoxo

  • Reply
    Karlie
    January 24, 2017 at 7:29 am

    You’re amazing <3 thanks for the vulnerability + realness – just remember you're exactly where you are supposed to be! xo
    Karlie recently posted…Turmeric Baked Oatmeal with Roasted Strawberry Sauce

  • Reply
    Meredith
    January 24, 2017 at 8:29 am

    Thank you for sharing – and congratulations on your exciting move! Toronto girl here – and I’m visiting San Francisco & Sonoma for the first time in April. I’m reaaaallllly looking forward to posts which give a peek into the adventures in your new city! I’ll take notes for my upcoming trip 🙂

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 1:48 pm

      Absolutely! I adore Sonoma and of course SF is my new stomping grounds so expect lots of recommendations as I continue to explore. Thanks for the support, Meredith!

  • Reply
    Lee
    January 24, 2017 at 8:47 am

    WELCOME BACK VIDS.
    Lee recently posted…Healthy Sugar Cookie Cut-Outs made with almond meal and honey!

  • Reply
    Jen @ pretty little grub
    January 24, 2017 at 9:15 am

    I love your honesty in this post. It’s these moments that we can really connect with who you are.
    I’m so sorry about the car crash and it’s totally okay that it’s taking a while to deal with that, never apologize for that. Take the time that you need to come to terms with it.
    Congratulations on the move, your world is definitely upside down but I think you will definitely grow a lot and learn a lot along the way. Would love if you continued to update how you felt as you move forward.
    Jen @ pretty little grub recently posted…Weekend Recap

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 1:49 pm

      Absolutely! I’ve learned a ton from this experience that I’m excited to share as the time feels right. Thank you so much for your support and encouraging words! xoxo

  • Reply
    Robin | CaliGirl Cooking
    January 24, 2017 at 10:03 am

    Davida – Thank you so much for sharing all of this! I know how much of a struggle it is to let your wall down and give your readers your “non-curated” life. So kudos! I live in Santa Barbara at the moment but my husband is waiting on a job transfer up to Napa and we are up in the Bay Area a ton (we are both from there)…Let me know if you ever need any recommendations and would love to meet up with you someday if the stars align!
    Robin | CaliGirl Cooking recently posted…Breakfast Banana Split

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 1:59 pm

      That would be amazing! Definitely keep me posted and I’d love to come out and hang in Napa. Wine country is my faveeee! Thanks for the support, lovely!

  • Reply
    Emily
    January 24, 2017 at 10:08 am

    Moving can be so hard and draining without ever realizing it. I’ve moved A LOT and like you, I focus on the steps to get there, and then the emotions of what I left behind hit me hard way later. I’m sure you’ll find your groove in San Fran soon and it’ll all start to make sense and er better.

    So sorry you’re feeling so shaken about your car! I’m sure I would be the same way. Keep allowing yourself to process it and in time the fear will pass.

    Oh, and hell yes your blog is like a hole-in-the-wall restaurant. Remember that people come for your amazing honesty and content, not for this kit looks! Yes, design can make you and visitors happier, but what really matters is what you have to say.

    Big hugs to you Davida!
    Emily recently posted…Whole30 Pumpkin Coconut Chia Pudding

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:00 pm

      Thank you SO much. Sending you big hugs and love in return. Time heals all and I’m looking forward to a few months from now when I’m feeling a bit more settled and hopefully have the motivation the build out the new blog design 🙂

  • Reply
    Suzanne Poldon
    January 24, 2017 at 10:12 am

    Great post! Glad you and Curt made it to Cali 🙂 All the best, and hit me up when you’re in Ontario (Ill do them same when Im in Cali)!!

    Xo, Su

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 12:54 pm

      100%. I’ll let you know when I’m back and as always, you are forever welcome here in SF!

  • Reply
    Ashley | Fit Mitten Kitchen
    January 24, 2017 at 10:25 am

    Glad to hear you’re doing alright! It will definitely get better. A big move is SO hard. Brings back memories of us leaving PA last year… I think about it casually and still get a little sad sometimes, and anxious for the future as well. But I also then realize it was safe there. Safe and steady. And now that we’ve moved it is just different and a little unknown. Especially with running a blog as as a business–as you know and understand. I’m trying to recognize certain feelings I’ve been having lately (i.e. scared/anxious of xyz) and know that just because you’re scared of something doesn’t mean you give up <3

    We're all here for you!

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:03 pm

      exactly! I’ve been filled with so much terror and uncertainty lately and I won’t pretend I haven’t had thoughts of “I think we should go back to Toronto” or “maybe I should put the blog on hiatus”, but I’m feeling so so grateful I didn’t. If you aren’t scared, it probably is boring anyway 😉 Thanks for the love, babes! xoxo

  • Reply
    Chrissa - Physical Kitchness
    January 24, 2017 at 10:30 am

    Love your honesty as always. But am I disappointed – you said moving to California and here I am, aaaaaall excited. Wrong “san”. San Diego girl! Come to San Diego! Selfishly I would really love to be your neighbor. SF is cold. Come here. It’s only one additional move 😉

  • Reply
    Jess
    January 24, 2017 at 10:35 am

    It’s incredibly brave of you to be so honest and transparent! Congrats on the move! While scary, it must be so exciting to create a new life! A few years ago my boyfriend and I packed up our two little cars to the brim and moved from NY to Dallas, where we didn’t know a soul. While it wasn’t all rainbows and sunshine at first, it was such an amazing adventure recreating our lives together- in the beginning, we had no one else to lean on, but each other so it’s a great way to grow together. We both quickly made friends that will be in our lives forever and I have no doubt it will be the same for you! Being away from family is never easy, but they are just a plane ride away and will always be there no matter what. It’s important to do what makes you happy and live the life you’ve always wanted! It sounds like Cali has been a dream for a while! I hope you have the best adventure in your new city and I can’t wait to see what you do with THM in the future! Best of luck 🙂

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:29 pm

      Thank you so much for sharing your story. That is SO encouraging to us as we kick off this new adventure. Looking forward to being able to look around and feel that same level of contentment and network you’ve found in Dallas! xoxo

  • Reply
    Kelly @ Eat the Gains
    January 24, 2017 at 10:52 am

    I love these posts from you Davida. I love how you get so real because we all know social media doesn’t display it all. I’m glad you are doing better though! My bf and I moved across the country almost 3 (wow, can’t believe it’s been that long!) years and were in the same situation as you guys. You will def miss back home, but will be making new amazing experiences that you wouldn’t have if you stayed put. I just started a healthy meal prep delivery company for a handful of people and while it has been fun, it has been so overwhelming at the same time. Making 100 meals in a week can be stressful when you have only 2 feet of counter space in a tiny kitchen. I def have broke down a few times over it. But I’m learning and growing and it has been fun! I can’t wait to see what SF has in store for you. We are visiting in a few months and I’m so excited!! xoxo
    Kelly @ Eat the Gains recently posted…Weekly Workouts Recap

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:30 pm

      That’s so exciting Kelly! Of course, social media doesn’t always display the struggles behind the scenes but your honesty is always appreciated and encouraging for me to do the same. Can’t wait to watch your journey unfold! Thank you as always for the support!

  • Reply
    Diana
    January 24, 2017 at 10:57 am

    Hi Davida-

    Congratulations on the move and I’m really sorry to hear about the failure of the redesign and the car crash. I can’t help, however, but feel like you duped your readers a bit. You (rightly so) don’t have to share your move on you blog until it was finalized or just until you felt ready- totally legit. But, by talking for so many posts about a “big announcement” you have coming means so many readers are going to poke and prod to try to figure out what is going on– leading to the exact opposite outcome. Honestly, this seems pretty intentional and I’m sorry to say this but this post feels much more like click-bait than vulnerability. Also, moving to CA and especially San Francisco (one of the most expensive cities in the world) is a luxury that not many of us can afford. I’m shocked you haven’t acknowledged this privilege.

    Up really love this blog and your honesty in the past, but feel very turned off by this post. Hopefully you’ll accept my honesty, as I would be surprised if you didn’t have any other readers feeling similar to myself.

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:37 pm

      Hi Diana,

      Thank you for your honesty. The reality of sharing your life on the internet is that you cannot expect that everyone will agree with you or understand your true intentions. What’s most important, is that I know this was written with integrity and authenticity and what you may see as “click-bait” was in fact, incredibly challenging to write and share. I’m learning that you can feel many emotions at once. Excitement about a new experience and sharing it with my readers, and true terror and sadness about the uncertainty of the future and what we’ve left behind. At the end of the day, it’s your prerogative to believe what you read, but know I have and will never try to dupe or lie to my readers.

      As for the privilege of living in San Francisco, this is something that I don’t feel I need to acknowledge or apologize for. My partner and I have worked incredibly hard to make this happen for us and while we are certainly grateful we were able to make it work, we know the effort, savings and sacrifices we’ve made to make it happen. No one should ever be faulted for this.

      Thanks for your support and I hope this can shed light on my perspective.

      Davida

    • Reply
      Anne
      January 28, 2017 at 1:20 am

      I have to agree with you Diana.

      Davida, I’ve always enjoyed your authentic voice, but lately I feel a lot of your posts are definitely click-baity, or so obviously sponsored it feels like you’re just throwing up a post to bring in a few bucks.

      Feeling duped more often than not when I visit THM these days, drawn here with the promise of big revelations or insightful posts, but it all just feels so contrived. 😕

      • Reply
        Davida @ The Healthy Maven
        January 28, 2017 at 9:29 pm

        I’m very sorry to hear that, Anne. As I mentioned to Diana, sharing your thoughts and feelings on the internet means that you will never be immune to hearing a difference of opinion. That being said, I know my truth and I know without question that everything I shared in this post is my honest and raw emotions. The last few months have been incredibly challenging for me, both personally and professionally. There have been major growing pains that I’ve had to sort out and I wanted to let you all in even if I may not have them all figured out yet.

        Again, I’m sorry that you feel this way and I respect your opinion even if I disagree.

        -Davida

  • Reply
    Amanda B
    January 24, 2017 at 11:08 am

    Welcome to the Bay Area! I’ve been reading/bookmarking/scrolling through your site since November when I wanted to commit to a healthier lifestyle and out of all the healthy food blogs, I always know the recipes I make from yours are gonna be delicious (and gonna make my roommates mouths water). When I first started reading your post I thought it was gonna end with: “and I’m gonna stop THM” and I almost cried. Glad you’re refocusing and rebalancing. I was just laid off from a job and that time off was an opportunity for me to take a breather (and start spending my days cooking ;). It also sucks to not be proud of something you’ve put time and effort into but it also means you’re always pushing yourself to be better and never settling. Don’t let that discourage you! Looking forward to some SF inspired recipes!!

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:28 pm

      Thank you SO much Amanda! And nope, THM will remain through it all! In many ways this blog and the community that read it have been a source of strength when life feels incredibly uncertain. I’m glad you could pull from some of this strength has you navigate some challenging times in your life. Stay tuned for more recipes and honesty dumps as we get settled in our new home 🙂

  • Reply
    Ashley @ The Small Town Foodie
    January 24, 2017 at 11:36 am

    Thank you for always being so open with your readers. That’s something I really want to work on for myself. I’m so excited for you as you make this transition and I know you’ll take any bad situation and turn it into something amazing. Can’t wait to continue following along! 🙂
    Ashley @ The Small Town Foodie recently posted…Buffalo Chicken Stuffed Peppers

  • Reply
    Kelsey Yoki
    January 24, 2017 at 11:40 am

    I think we can agree how much we appreciate you sharing your heart with us <3 In time, as hard as that statement is to hear sometimes, you'll find normalcy and balance in your life again. You are filled with so much strength and determination, I know you'll be able to look back on the lessons all of this brought into your life. I'll be here rooting for you!
    Kelsey Yoki recently posted…Stog Going At It Alone.

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:16 pm

      Thank you babes! Excited to finally have all of this out there and start getting settled in our new life here in SF 🙂

  • Reply
    Alexandra
    January 24, 2017 at 12:44 pm

    I admire your honesty and also your gut for moving! I’m following your stories since I discovered you at FBC2015. I admire your work and how you manage the growth of your business and I’m sure you will learn so much from what you experience before and after your move. Thank you for your amazing work and if you ever come by Québec city it will be my pleaser to meet you.

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:17 pm

      Thank you so much, Alexandra! So grateful for your support through these past couple of years. I’ll certainly let you know if I’m ever in QC!

  • Reply
    Kelsey Preciado
    January 24, 2017 at 12:54 pm

    I figured I better respond to this on every platform possible!! So excited for your move and all of the fun times in the city you have ahead!! As scary as it is between that, the crash and redesign, 2017 WILL be a better year!! Mostly because we will finally meet in person. 🙂 I know sharing this stuff isn’t easy but we all are here for you and hope things start to turn around!! You ARE a queen girl!!! 🙂
    Kelsey Preciado recently posted…Curried Turkey Sloppy Joes in Sweet Potato Bowls

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:22 pm

      Forgot to tell you that Curt called me “MAMA QUEEN” haha. Also I’m booked for Expo West. YOU BETTER HANG OUT WITH ME! K thanks.

  • Reply
    Marina @ A Dancer's Live-It
    January 24, 2017 at 1:03 pm

    I have always admired your honesty Davida, and this post definitely supports that incredibly honesty. Congratulations on your move! I know it probably wasn’t easy to leave Toronto, but I know that you and C will start your new and exciting life on a high note! 🙂 I think it’s amazing that you took the leap in the first place. As for the blog, I know YOU might not be happy with what it has become, but I know I will always be here to read and support you in whatever way I can. <3 Your blog has gotten me through some really tough times in my eating disorder, and I'm not sure if I've ever told you that. If you ever end up on the East coast, I would absolutely love to meet you and have coffee and talk about everything! I guess C and Bodhi can come too. 😉
    Marina @ A Dancer’s Live-It recently posted…My 3rd Tattoo

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:24 pm

      Thank you so incredibly much, Marina. Your comment deeply touched me and know that I always want to be a source of inspiration and support to you, as you’ve been for me. We’re all on this journey of life together and I’m grateful for this community that makes it all feel a little less alone. Lots of love! xoxo

  • Reply
    Hillary
    January 24, 2017 at 1:13 pm

    I’m so glad you shared this post, and thank you for being open and vulnerable with your community time and time again. Beautiful blogs and Instagram feeds and incredible videos (like yours) can certainly make it appear that life is all rainbows and unicorns, but thank you for taking the time to also show the messier sides of life.

    I can relate to your crash/anxiety. I haven’t been in a terrible car accident (knock on wood), but I have experienced a few other accidents that have left residual anxiety. Trust that with time, your body’s nervous system will calm down… but it’s normal for it to still be fired up.

    I’m also excited for THM’s new look whenever it’s ready, but you are so right: the real gems are in posts like these. The sidebars and headers and blog colors are just the extra fun fluff. Your content continues to shine. xoxo

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:25 pm

      Thank you so much, lovely! Your words of encouragement mean so much and I’m so looking forward to things settling down and getting back in a groove.

  • Reply
    Lo
    January 24, 2017 at 1:22 pm

    I can totally relate with you about hitting a deer! my husband and I hit a deer on Christmas morning 2015. it was one of those things that I didn’t get to process right away and was just trying to soothe my shaken up husband so we could get home to our family. I find myself terrified to drive at night and on edge about it happening again. we too came out of it physically unscathed but emotionally… its like some kind of PTSD.

    I hope you soon feel “settled” in your new home! take it one day at a time.

    XO Lo
    thoseprettypieces.com
    Lo recently posted…minnesota girl

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 12:53 pm

      Thank you so much, Lo. I never imagined I’d be shaken up so badly by it (even without any physical injuries), but it’s been really tough. The nice thing about sharing this publicly is how many people have told me they experienced the same thing and knowing you’re not alone makes the recovery so much easier. So grateful for you!

  • Reply
    ACKTIVE LIFE
    January 24, 2017 at 1:29 pm

    Let it out woman!!! We are ALL always here to support you and each other when we go through the ups and downs and major changes in life. You have a lot going on and I am just glad that you are OKAY health wise and you have a good support system. On a positive note, you look beautiful and your recent photos are amazing. And I’ll let you in on something too, I am so done with my blog design and that my designer has refused to respond to my emails or text messages. It infuriates me so much and it’s so unprofessional and UGH…Rant over! XOXO
    ACKTIVE LIFE recently posted…Recipes That Use GHEE

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:07 pm

      Girl I feel your pain! It is so frustrating and I’m sure you know the feeling when your blog feels like your baby! Thank you for the support and always here to chat or vent when these things inevitably happen!

  • Reply
    Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday
    January 24, 2017 at 3:19 pm

    “Go where you’ll grow” rings so true for me. That’s what my entire college experience has been like. Away from home, full of tears, and also full of SO MUCH growth and confidence-building. And I also know the feeling of not loving the look of your blog. But your content is wonderful and looks are overrated 😉 You’ll get your dream design someday. I so admire your honesty and can’t wait to see how you thrive in SF.
    Ellen @ My Uncommon Everyday recently posted…Five Friday Favorites 01/20/17

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:08 pm

      You’re so right! Looks are shallow, and the same applies to our blogs! College was like that for me too. I felt like I only really hit my groove there in my fourth year. It takes me a long time to adjust to things, which is something I’ve had to learn over and over again!

  • Reply
    Kaitlin @ California Endless Summer
    January 24, 2017 at 3:27 pm

    Have to second all of the above responses! I’m so excited for your move and exploration of California (biased as a native Californian but currently in NYC hoping to get back) and admire your vulnerability. I’ve stepped away from my blog for a bit to figure out how to address more than just the happy go lucky and it’s tough! Especially since my grandparents read it and read into everything. I think I gravitated towards blogging (Lee’s blog in the first place actually) to find authentic people who I could connect with. I love all that you post about and send lots of well wishes! P.S. You must check out Smitten. It’s amazing.
    Kaitlin @ California Endless Summer recently posted…Year 3 In New York City

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:09 pm

      Omg I walked by it yesterday! I’ll stop in next time. Thank you so much for the support, love and definitely let me know if you’re back in Cali and up in the Bay!

  • Reply
    Lisa
    January 24, 2017 at 4:36 pm

    Love this post! Yay for honesty. I’m in Berkeley, come explore the east bay!
    Lisa recently posted…Coffee Chat

  • Reply
    Diana
    January 24, 2017 at 5:14 pm

    Here’s the deal – I feel like you are a friend, a real person who has ups and downs and shares stuff when it feels right to you. You post great recipes and write as if we were in the same room talking to each other. I appreciate the fact that you share your life with me and have nothing but respect for how you do you. We are all in a journey and stuff happens daily that may change the course of the journey and we can only do what we can do at that moment in time. You keep doing it the way you think is right and I’ll be along for the ride!

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 2:14 pm

      Diana – thank you so much! I feel the same way. I admire and have such respect for anyone who can be honest with themselves, let alone an entire audience of people, because it certainly isn’t easy. Thank you for supporting me through this and just being an awesome friend in the process. I hope you’ll follow along as the journey continues and I can’t wait to stay updated on yours!

  • Reply
    Monika
    January 24, 2017 at 5:29 pm

    I think you’re doing us all a huge favour by sharing both the good and the bad…especially as a lifestyle blog. I’d argue the way you’ve done it here (after you’ve had some time to process it all yourself) is the best possible approach. Thanks!

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      Thank you Monika! Time has certainly helped ease some of the emotions and given me some space to process before sharing. So grateful for your patience and support!

  • Reply
    Miss Polkadot
    January 24, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    As cheesy as it is: big hugs to you. It sounds like life has been a whirlwind with quite a few lemons thrown at you lately. Hopefully that means you’ll be rewarded with lots of sunshine [literally and metaphorically] in the future.
    It’s been said so many times and still rings true: the posts that are the hardest to write are those that truly allow our readers to connect with us. Not like I hadn’t felt like that before but this made me think even more highly of you. Keep being your amazing self.
    Miss Polkadot recently posted…Better than before.

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 12:50 pm

      Thank you so much, love. I am so grateful for your support and just how amazing you’ve been over the years. You never fail to make me feel a little less alone when I’m feeling down. So so so appreciate it!

  • Reply
    Courtney Louisy
    January 24, 2017 at 6:54 pm

    Hey Davida – welcome to the bay! I’m glad you made it here safely (physically and emotionally, that crash sounded terrible). I’m originally from Canada but living here too in Redwood city (30 mins north of Sf).

    Your content always gives me good vibes and I’d love to show you around my fav food, fitness, or whatever spots in Silicon Valley and the bay. There’s so much to see and do so if you want to hang out, I’m super up for brunch!

    Here’s my info so you can Google me, if you want!
    Courtney Louisy
    408-903-9672
    Courtney.louisy@gmail.com

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 12:48 pm

      Thanks so much, lovely! We were actually living not too far from Redwood City when we first landed here but just recently moved into the city. Thanks so much for connecting and once I’m back from my press trip I’ll be in touch!

  • Reply
    Casey the College Celiac
    January 24, 2017 at 7:58 pm

    Thank you so much for your honesty. Moving is hard (I”m struggling with my own move…only from CA to Colorado Springs), and it takes a lot of guts to admit that. Ironically enough, I’m sharing my own “Things I’m Afraid to Tell You” tomorrow morning 😉
    Casey the College Celiac recently posted…5 Secrets to Eating an Energizing Breakfast When You’re Working Full-Time

  • Reply
    Mackenzie
    January 25, 2017 at 1:27 am

    Aqq, D. Wow… this is so vulnerable and heartfelt and RELATABLE. You know how sometimes you are concerned about your platform making a difference? I can assure you that you are lovely. You are having more of an impact than you know. I just recently moved to SF with my husband too, and I feel your struggles. This post alone was a good reminder to me that life is a journey and it’s important to realize that the “wasted” time/money/energy may just be stepping stones to something great. Thank you for sharing this, dear! Everything will be okay- and you are in an amazing place of inspiration. The food isn’t too bad either 😉 Maybe I will see you around! xo

    • Reply
      Mackenzie
      January 25, 2017 at 1:28 am

      Whoops I meant to say “Aww” not “Aqq” 😉

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 12:41 pm

      Mackenzie! Thank you so much for your kind words. It’s always nice to know you aren’t alone. As the dust begins to settle I’m realizing how incredibly fortunate I am. This city is so inspiring and yes, the food doesn’t hurt either 😉 xoxo

  • Reply
    Carmy
    January 25, 2017 at 1:06 pm

    1. I cannot even imagine how you feel after the crash. Smaller scaled things has happened to me and have left a lasting impact that I don’t even know how something like hitting a deer would make me react. Regardless, I hope you’re able to feel better soon <3

    2. I'm totally bummed you left Toronto! SF is amazing and I've always loved my time there but Toronto will definitely miss you. Hoping you settle in soon 🙂
    Carmy recently posted…Chickpea and Brown Rice Burger

  • Reply
    Katy Hope
    January 25, 2017 at 2:28 pm

    Really great post, totally inspiring. It is so hard to be vulnerable, but really helpful for others. Thanks for sharing.

    http://www.hopepostkids.com
    Katy Hope recently posted…The Best Granola Recipes to Start Your Day

  • Reply
    Chelsea's Healthy Kitchen
    January 25, 2017 at 8:20 pm

    I’ve always envied your ability to be so honest on your blog! I don’t blame you one bit for being shaken up about the crash – things like that can really affect you! I hope you’re working through it and finding some peace.

    Anyway congrats on the move and looking forward to hearing about your adventures in Cali! I’m dying to visit there but I’m terrified to fly. That’s something I don’t like to admit but it’s true – it keeps me from travelling as much as I’d like.
    Chelsea’s Healthy Kitchen recently posted…Healthy Whole Wheat Date Bran Muffins

    • Reply
      Davida @ The Healthy Maven
      January 26, 2017 at 12:39 pm

      Well you’re always welcome in our home if you ever head out this way! Thank you for always being an amazing support. Does not go unnoticed <3

  • Reply
    Katie @ 24 Carrot Life
    January 26, 2017 at 10:04 am

    I’ve been wanting to write a post like this for a while and I LOVE The Lively Show but your post here just motivated me to finally do it! You rock, lady!

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